As I continue to do LifeWorks presentations across the area, there's something I learned about people. Actually, I believe I already knew this but as presentations and speeches come and go, my suspicion becomes more reality.
No one can motivate anyone to do anything!
The only thing I can do is provide incentives for people who attend my speeches and workshops. Now what does matter is if they follow through. I believe we have a generation that even incentives no longer work like they once did for most people. We live in a "I want it now" generation. To actually take the time to work on an issue in our lives to make them better takes time. In some cases months if not years.
IF...you need to motivate yourself to look for that new job, start that project, begin exercising, saving money, (Yes we use to do that in America), make amends with someone, well here are ten Self-Motivating Tips that you can use.
1. Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving your potential is your comfort zone! Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.
2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.
3. Don't indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.
4. Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is your birthright so don't settle for anything else.
5. Spend at least an hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring cd's.
6. Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as we try to accomplish a task. Finish one before you begin another.
7. Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future you aren't able to make things happen in the present.
8. Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, "Joy is the serious business of heaven."
9. Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be just around the corner.
10. Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to be the law of exception then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Overwhelmed...Who Isn't Right?
Lately many people I've been talking to have been complaining, and in most cases justly so, about being overwhelmed. I have to admit that I've wrestled with it too. Being overwhelmed stinks!
Complaining about being overwhelmed never seems to be the remedy. It sucks the energy right out of your life. My schedule, work, family, just life in general can in a word overwhelm you. Here's my advice to you-and to myself-for dealing with being overwhelmed.
1. Recognize that overwhelm isn't real. Its not something that attacks us. It's a feeling we experience based upon a belief there's too much to do and too little time to do it. It's fear-plain and simple, And once we recognize and acknowledge it, we're better equipped to deal with it.
2. Be grateful. Appreciate the fact that you have the opportunities and the projects that allow you to contribute to the world.
3. Accept the fact that you will never be caught up. If you're a person of action, someone with goals and aspirations, it's not likely that you'll ever have an empty inbox. The times in which we live and our ability to do meaningful work throughout our lives leads me to believe that we will always have tings left to do.
4. Understand that we can only think about one thing at a time. I think that "multi-tasking" is highly over rated. We can really only handle one thought in our mind at a time. Trying to think about more than one thing as once is very tiring and frustrating.
5. Be selective. The biggest weapon you have in fighting overwhelm is your ability to prioritize what you need to do. By making intelligent choices based upon urgent, non-urgent, important and non-important, we can focus better. Basing these choices on our core values, we can relax in the belief that we're doing what matters the most.
6. Delegate. Learn to gain the assistance of others. People like to help but you have to ask! Anything that can be adequately done by someone else should be delegated. It's an important skill worth developing.
7. Learn to say "no". Our feelings of overwhelm largely come from taking on too much. If you're asked to do something don't be too quick to accept the assignment. You might think you're being a nice person, but if you succumb to health problems because of it, you won't be nice much longer.
8. Take care of yourself. Remember to take breaks in your life. The tendency for many of us is to work harder and longer. In actuality we can get more done in less time and with less effort if we take care of ourselves first. It's not being selfish...it's being smart!
9. Breathe! When we feel overwhelmed we have a tendency to tighten up instead of relaxing. It seems like there are many things at times we HAVE to do, but the only thing we REALLY have to do is breathe! Take some long deep breaths and feel yourself returning to the present.
10. Focus on the task at hand. If we're thinking about what's NOT getting done or all the other things we have to do, we can't focus well on what we're doing now. Think about what you are doing rather than what you're not getting done. Otherwise, you going to be defeated by your feelings of overwhelm.
Complaining about being overwhelmed never seems to be the remedy. It sucks the energy right out of your life. My schedule, work, family, just life in general can in a word overwhelm you. Here's my advice to you-and to myself-for dealing with being overwhelmed.
1. Recognize that overwhelm isn't real. Its not something that attacks us. It's a feeling we experience based upon a belief there's too much to do and too little time to do it. It's fear-plain and simple, And once we recognize and acknowledge it, we're better equipped to deal with it.
2. Be grateful. Appreciate the fact that you have the opportunities and the projects that allow you to contribute to the world.
3. Accept the fact that you will never be caught up. If you're a person of action, someone with goals and aspirations, it's not likely that you'll ever have an empty inbox. The times in which we live and our ability to do meaningful work throughout our lives leads me to believe that we will always have tings left to do.
4. Understand that we can only think about one thing at a time. I think that "multi-tasking" is highly over rated. We can really only handle one thought in our mind at a time. Trying to think about more than one thing as once is very tiring and frustrating.
5. Be selective. The biggest weapon you have in fighting overwhelm is your ability to prioritize what you need to do. By making intelligent choices based upon urgent, non-urgent, important and non-important, we can focus better. Basing these choices on our core values, we can relax in the belief that we're doing what matters the most.
6. Delegate. Learn to gain the assistance of others. People like to help but you have to ask! Anything that can be adequately done by someone else should be delegated. It's an important skill worth developing.
7. Learn to say "no". Our feelings of overwhelm largely come from taking on too much. If you're asked to do something don't be too quick to accept the assignment. You might think you're being a nice person, but if you succumb to health problems because of it, you won't be nice much longer.
8. Take care of yourself. Remember to take breaks in your life. The tendency for many of us is to work harder and longer. In actuality we can get more done in less time and with less effort if we take care of ourselves first. It's not being selfish...it's being smart!
9. Breathe! When we feel overwhelmed we have a tendency to tighten up instead of relaxing. It seems like there are many things at times we HAVE to do, but the only thing we REALLY have to do is breathe! Take some long deep breaths and feel yourself returning to the present.
10. Focus on the task at hand. If we're thinking about what's NOT getting done or all the other things we have to do, we can't focus well on what we're doing now. Think about what you are doing rather than what you're not getting done. Otherwise, you going to be defeated by your feelings of overwhelm.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
"Talk to Me"
Why are people so stressed out any more? Why is it that were so busy we don't have the time to sit down and talk to each other? When did 144 characters on Twitter become enough? Why are many of us "stressed" now days?
Part of the problem I believe any more is that even though we now have a myriad of ways to "communicate" with one another, e.g. Face book, email, Twitter, texting, oh the thing called a land line phone, and yes the cellphone, we really are developing into a culture that has no idea on how to "talk". Thus one of the reasons why so many people get "stressed" out.
A friend I know tells me that a co-worker is no more than 20 feet away and sends 1-2 line emails throughout the workday rather than walking the 15 steps or so and actually communicating with said person. It's so much more productive to then send an email back to them and then have them send a thank you email in return and you sending another email saying 'no problem' and then them saying 'thank you'...ok so I'm being slightly sarcastic.
Recently I was at a restaurant around noon on a Sunday. One family it appeared had just come from church. Mom and Dad, three children with granpa and granma. They no more than got seated when the Mom was on her cellphone along with all three children! The youngest was like 7 or 8 years old. A moment later, Dad was texting. And there sat Granma and Granpa sitting on their hands. Not quite a Norman Rockwell moment. And don't get me started when the waiter came to their table to take their order! (If I had been the waiter I would have shouted, "Your attention please".)
I heard on the Discovery Channel that there is now more technology in today's cell phone than what was in the Apollo spacecraft that went to the moon! Now I'm not criticizing all the great technology that has come down the pike in the last decade or so. But take someones phone from them for 30 minutes...no 15 minutes and there's a good chance they have a panic attack. Couples use to tell a counselor, "we just don't talk any more". Gosh what is it now...he just stopped "Twittering" me.
All I'm saying is this...let's talk to each other and listen to what's being said. If you're in a relationship let the other person hear "I love you". If you have kids "tell" them why something is unacceptable or why we don't act that way. "Show" people that you care by your actions rather than your Tweet.
Cellphone companies blast us everyday with commericals on why we should go with their "plan". Hey with my plan you get unlimited minutes, any time day or night, anywhere coverage...for FREE. Let's talk.
Part of the problem I believe any more is that even though we now have a myriad of ways to "communicate" with one another, e.g. Face book, email, Twitter, texting, oh the thing called a land line phone, and yes the cellphone, we really are developing into a culture that has no idea on how to "talk". Thus one of the reasons why so many people get "stressed" out.
A friend I know tells me that a co-worker is no more than 20 feet away and sends 1-2 line emails throughout the workday rather than walking the 15 steps or so and actually communicating with said person. It's so much more productive to then send an email back to them and then have them send a thank you email in return and you sending another email saying 'no problem' and then them saying 'thank you'...ok so I'm being slightly sarcastic.
Recently I was at a restaurant around noon on a Sunday. One family it appeared had just come from church. Mom and Dad, three children with granpa and granma. They no more than got seated when the Mom was on her cellphone along with all three children! The youngest was like 7 or 8 years old. A moment later, Dad was texting. And there sat Granma and Granpa sitting on their hands. Not quite a Norman Rockwell moment. And don't get me started when the waiter came to their table to take their order! (If I had been the waiter I would have shouted, "Your attention please".)
I heard on the Discovery Channel that there is now more technology in today's cell phone than what was in the Apollo spacecraft that went to the moon! Now I'm not criticizing all the great technology that has come down the pike in the last decade or so. But take someones phone from them for 30 minutes...no 15 minutes and there's a good chance they have a panic attack. Couples use to tell a counselor, "we just don't talk any more". Gosh what is it now...he just stopped "Twittering" me.
All I'm saying is this...let's talk to each other and listen to what's being said. If you're in a relationship let the other person hear "I love you". If you have kids "tell" them why something is unacceptable or why we don't act that way. "Show" people that you care by your actions rather than your Tweet.
Cellphone companies blast us everyday with commericals on why we should go with their "plan". Hey with my plan you get unlimited minutes, any time day or night, anywhere coverage...for FREE. Let's talk.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Class of '71...40 Years & Counting
The High School Reunion of 1971
FORTY YEARS!!! Are you kidding me? Wasn't it just the other day I was sitting in my Commerical Arts class with Raymond Atwood who was slightly aloof? He would talk about his cottage in England. Later that day I went to Kendall Natvig's Psychology class and he was talking about the Id, Ego and Super Ego or something like that. Most of us actually did learn something. Then there was Coach Bob Buckley out with the track team working his mind games with us. How many track coaches do so smoking a pipe and looking all Ward Cleaver?The Class of 1971 in Webster City, Iowa. At the time we were the largest school in the conference...and yes our claim to fame was football. Imagine that. Coach Dick Tighe and his Lynx...that's all you had to say. A god in his own time to many. Big farm boys who basically beat up little farm boys. Really...beating up the likes of the Eagle Grove Eagles. They couldn't even come up with a different mascot name than that of the town. And Clear Lake...ugh...they never won anything but always wanted everyone to know they lived by a lake.
Christmas formal I believe had as its theme "Crystal Blue Persuasion." I tracked down Tommy James and the Shondels on You Tube the other day still singing that song in a New York club and believe it or not sounding really good. Let's see what Justin Bieber sounds like in forty years!
Webster City was a vibrant town back then. Main street was the main street in town. There were clothing stores to drug stores, hardware stores. pet stores, real full-service gas stations, and even a few fast food places. ("Fast" is a relative term in a Midwest farm town). The washing machine/dryer factory in town employed hundreds if not thousands of people. Shoot I even put in my stint there one summer. That's another story.
Then comes the 40th reunion of the Webster City Lynx. Funny thing...in some ways 40 years changes everything and in some ways nothing. First, the reunion was held at the Country Club. I was never in the country club until my 35th reunion and now my fortieth. I learned early on that I lived literally on the other side of the railroad tracks. People from that part of town weren't country club people. My side of town was referred to as "Shoe Town." I never knew that years and years ago there actually was a shoe factory. History says it burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances...but its ghost lived on in the people of the east side. Kids who went to my elementary school, Hilltop, were looked upon as a lower class. Imagine that in a town of 8,000 people.
Time has changed Webster City. The executives of Electrolux who ran the local factory made a less then brilliant decision to move t Juarez, Mexico known as the Murder Capital of the world. Along with that brain-dead decision went the lives of thousands of American workers and their families. As you drive around town now you can hear, "Dead city walking'.
I imagine it won't be long that our beloved high school will suffer the same fate and will in the near future consolidate with one or more schools just to survive. No more Purple and Gold.
I went to visit my elementary school Hilltop. Its been empty for years now and one local resident told me it will be tore down in the near future. I had the opportunity to walk through it. I'm not even sure rodents wanted to be in it.
And then there was the actual reunion itself. Reunions are strange. What doesn't change is that the people who hung out together in high school still gravitate to each other. Most live in other cities if not other states. But throw everyone into a reunion setting and like magic everyone moves into their old cliques. Humans are fascinating creatures. I admit there were some people I wanted to see and others...well...let's just say I couldn't get to everyone. That hadn't changed in forty years. Does the name Al Bundy from "Married with Children" ring a bell?
You get old in forty years. I quick glance and I thought I was in the local nursing home. People who were bald, slightly overweight, and talking about their grandchildren and retiring...nursing home fodder right?
Sadly in 40 years over 20 classmates have passed on and will be missed. For a class of 220 that's quite a few so soon.
So what's changed in forty years...not much...a lot...both. The only constant is change. As I left the reunion many were already talking about the 45th reunion. Time will tell. But for now Happy 40th to the Purple and Gold of Webster City, Iowa.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
"Did You Ever Stop to Think...
...and forget to start again?"
"Well," said Pooh. "what I like best--" and then he had to stop and think. Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than you were, but he didn't know what it was called."
Winnie the Pooh always seemed to be a good bear. Pretty upbeat. So I'll share some of his happiness tips that each of us can use.
Don't Get Bogged Down in Details.
"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't it everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count."
Getting bogged down in details, focusing on small problems can have advantages. But it can also make you miss the big picture. What really important in life? Don't make the mistake of spending too much time nitpicking or making mountains out of molehills. Relax instead. Focus on positive things you have and want in your life. The days may seem long but the years are often pretty short!
Be Proactive. Take the Lead.
"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
It's easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what people around you do. You react to whatever is going on.
A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. This feels better and provides better results. But on the other hand it's also more difficult. You have to get out of your comfort zone and that can be scary....yet worth it.
Keep conversations positive and simple.
"It's more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "what about lunch?"
What do people want in a conversation and relationship of all kinds?
Long winded negative babbling? Or positive talk that is focused and interesting?
Three tips that help me keep the conversation positive and focused are:
*Live a positive life. If you focus on the positive in your daily life then it's usually no problem to keep focusing on it and talking about it in conversations.
*Be aware and be alert.
If you know you have a problem with negative conversations be aware of that fact before you go off on a rant.
*Focus on other people.
If you focus too much on yourself then it's easy to get lost in your own thoughts and words and forget that you are having a conversation. As if you enjoy listening more to yourself than having a two-way conversation.
Appreciate the little things.
"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."
Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when having some great luck then you are making life harder than it needs to be. Instead, focus on appreciating things you may take for granted.
Thanks Pooh Bear
"Well," said Pooh. "what I like best--" and then he had to stop and think. Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than you were, but he didn't know what it was called."
Winnie the Pooh always seemed to be a good bear. Pretty upbeat. So I'll share some of his happiness tips that each of us can use.
Don't Get Bogged Down in Details.
"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't it everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count."
Getting bogged down in details, focusing on small problems can have advantages. But it can also make you miss the big picture. What really important in life? Don't make the mistake of spending too much time nitpicking or making mountains out of molehills. Relax instead. Focus on positive things you have and want in your life. The days may seem long but the years are often pretty short!
Be Proactive. Take the Lead.
"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
It's easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what people around you do. You react to whatever is going on.
A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. This feels better and provides better results. But on the other hand it's also more difficult. You have to get out of your comfort zone and that can be scary....yet worth it.
Keep conversations positive and simple.
"It's more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "what about lunch?"
What do people want in a conversation and relationship of all kinds?
Long winded negative babbling? Or positive talk that is focused and interesting?
Three tips that help me keep the conversation positive and focused are:
*Live a positive life. If you focus on the positive in your daily life then it's usually no problem to keep focusing on it and talking about it in conversations.
*Be aware and be alert.
If you know you have a problem with negative conversations be aware of that fact before you go off on a rant.
*Focus on other people.
If you focus too much on yourself then it's easy to get lost in your own thoughts and words and forget that you are having a conversation. As if you enjoy listening more to yourself than having a two-way conversation.
Appreciate the little things.
"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."
Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when having some great luck then you are making life harder than it needs to be. Instead, focus on appreciating things you may take for granted.
Thanks Pooh Bear
Friday, July 15, 2011
12 Ways to Live Your Life
It seems that everything comes in a list format nowadays. "Wash, Rinse and Repeat." Or "Open box, Remove Contents, Assemble." Maybe its because when we see things in a list format our brain interprets them as a set of directions - rules that must be followed.
The proliferation of articles about happiness as of late has been astonishing. Everybody is coming up with the magic formula for finding happiness. I don't know about you, but I nee to keep things simple and in perspective at all times.
Wouldn't it be great if there were a simple set of instructions for living a happy and fulfilled life? How about an instruction manual for life? Something along the lines of "Enjoy childhood, Explore young adulthood, Engage in a rewarding career, and Enjoy life."
Unfortunately, things are not that easy. That doesn't mean there aren't techniques and tips you can use in your everyday life that can help you find happiness and fulfillment as you go through the journey of life. Here's how:
1. Keep it simple. Don't clutter your life with unnecessary decisions by making everything complicated and complex.
2. Practice being satisfied. Many people don't know how to satisfied with what life gives them.
3. Beware of indecision. Nobody said life was easy and sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. Successful people didn't get where they are by prolonging or going back and forth on decisions.
4. Practice cheerfulness. A simple smile or kind word can spread through our culture like wildfire - not only will you feel better, but those who interact with you will too.
5. Learn to love people. You don't have to like them but you can learn to love them beyond the blemishes.
6. Live and let live. Learn to live your life to the fullest and let others live live to the fullest. None of us is above anyone else.
7. Adversity teaches. Adversity often comes dressed in many different outfits, but you will change your life by learning how to deal with it and prosper from it.
8. Don't take yourself too seriously. Here's a secret...it's OK to be alittle goofy every now and then.
9. Have a sense of humor. Laughter has been shown to help people live longer, reduce their blood pressure, and help them relate to people from all corners of life.
10. Practice objectivity. Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid bias influence on your decisions.
11. Tolerate your own mistakes. Learn that mistakes happen and the best thing you can is to learn from them.
12. Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over the things that happened in the past - things you did or didn't do, and mistakes you may have made with others.
Life happens....be a part of it.
The proliferation of articles about happiness as of late has been astonishing. Everybody is coming up with the magic formula for finding happiness. I don't know about you, but I nee to keep things simple and in perspective at all times.
Wouldn't it be great if there were a simple set of instructions for living a happy and fulfilled life? How about an instruction manual for life? Something along the lines of "Enjoy childhood, Explore young adulthood, Engage in a rewarding career, and Enjoy life."
Unfortunately, things are not that easy. That doesn't mean there aren't techniques and tips you can use in your everyday life that can help you find happiness and fulfillment as you go through the journey of life. Here's how:
1. Keep it simple. Don't clutter your life with unnecessary decisions by making everything complicated and complex.
2. Practice being satisfied. Many people don't know how to satisfied with what life gives them.
3. Beware of indecision. Nobody said life was easy and sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. Successful people didn't get where they are by prolonging or going back and forth on decisions.
4. Practice cheerfulness. A simple smile or kind word can spread through our culture like wildfire - not only will you feel better, but those who interact with you will too.
5. Learn to love people. You don't have to like them but you can learn to love them beyond the blemishes.
6. Live and let live. Learn to live your life to the fullest and let others live live to the fullest. None of us is above anyone else.
7. Adversity teaches. Adversity often comes dressed in many different outfits, but you will change your life by learning how to deal with it and prosper from it.
8. Don't take yourself too seriously. Here's a secret...it's OK to be alittle goofy every now and then.
9. Have a sense of humor. Laughter has been shown to help people live longer, reduce their blood pressure, and help them relate to people from all corners of life.
10. Practice objectivity. Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid bias influence on your decisions.
11. Tolerate your own mistakes. Learn that mistakes happen and the best thing you can is to learn from them.
12. Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over the things that happened in the past - things you did or didn't do, and mistakes you may have made with others.
Life happens....be a part of it.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Ant Philosophy
I think everybody should study ants. They have ab amazing four-part philosophy. Here is the first part:
Ants never quit
That's a good philosophy. If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they'll look for another way. They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy, to never quit looking for a way to get where you're suppose to go.
Second...Ants think winter all summer.
That's an important perspective. You can't be so naive to think that summer will last forever. So ants are gathering their winter food in the middle of summer.
The third part of the any philosophy is that ants think summer all winter.
That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, "This won't last long---we'll soon be out f here." And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the next warm day. They can't wait to get out.
And here's the last part of the ant philosophy.
How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for winter? All he possibly can! What an incredible philosophy, the "all-you-can-philosophy".
Ants never quit
That's a good philosophy. If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they'll look for another way. They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy, to never quit looking for a way to get where you're suppose to go.
Second...Ants think winter all summer.
That's an important perspective. You can't be so naive to think that summer will last forever. So ants are gathering their winter food in the middle of summer.
The third part of the any philosophy is that ants think summer all winter.
That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, "This won't last long---we'll soon be out f here." And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the next warm day. They can't wait to get out.
And here's the last part of the ant philosophy.
How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for winter? All he possibly can! What an incredible philosophy, the "all-you-can-philosophy".
WOW what a great philosophy to have...the ant philosophy.
Never give up....look ahead...stay positive...and do all you can.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
