What You Didn't Hear Your Teacher Say

I had some great teachers going through school.  Raymond Atwood, my high school art teacher, in a word was unique and really a funny guy.  Ms. Miller, my 5th grade teacher, was dedicated and wanted every student to succeed.  Dave Hilton, 7th grade history teacher, knew every student's family and took a personal interest.  And then there was Professor Brown.  He was one of those guys who often spoke to you without using any words..if you catch my drift!  The two of us still stay in touch as I value his sage advice.  


But...for all these great teachers taught me along with other wonderful educators,  I've learned from another teacher who's name is "Life."  Let me share some of those lessons that have been so valuable and the wisdom I've gained.


1.  As Richard Carlson says, "don't sweat the small stuff," and most of it is small stuff.  When we allow ourselves to get caught up in small stuff we ruin our perspective and don't take the time to enjoy the moment.


2.  Life can be unpredictable and throw you some curves.  Just go ahead and say "never" and see what happens.  To avoid the jolt when life's surprises come your way, be prepared by being open-minded and maintain the positive mindset that welcomes the life lessons offered.


3.  The most boring word in any language is "I".  It's wonderful to be self-confident and self-sufficient, however, it's not all about you.  Being self-centered is not the same as having self-confidence.


4.  People are more important than things.  Relationships are more important than any material goods you may acquire on the road to success.  Setting your values and priorities  can help you establish what's important.


5.  Nobody else can make you happy.  Your happiness and state of mind are your responsibility.  Our relationships enhance our lives and make them richer, but they do not "make" us happy.  We do.


6.  Character and integrity count.  It's important to be a person of honor.  Your good word and deeds inspire trust and confidence from family, friends and employers.  Be the kind of person others are proud to know.


7.  Forgive yourself, your friends and your enemies.  We are all only too human.  All of us slip sometimes and make mistakes.  Holding grudges and past hurts only serves to prevent us from enjoying life to the fullest.


8. Persistence will eventually get you almost anything.  Never give up.  Keep your goals and dreams alive.


9.  It's OK to fail.  Everyone has failed at one time or another.  Failure is a great life teacher.  Thomas Edison had a great attitude towards failure.  he said, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."


10. Learn from the mistakes of others.  There's an old Zen proverb that states: "It takes a wise man to learn from his mistakes, but an even wiser man to learn from others."


11. Don't be afraid to show and tell others you love them.  Life is short!  So learn to give and receive love.  Love and be loved.


12. Live so that there is only standing room at your funeral.  Be the best spouse, parent, friend, boss, worker that you can be and leave the world a better place than you found it.


"The difference between school and life?  In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.  In life, your given a test that teaches you a lesson." - - -Tom Bodet

Reinvent Your Future

In my last blog I talked about how to re-energize your life. It's important for each of us to examine regularly where we are physically, mentally, and spiritually in life.  If we don't, we run the risk of having that continual feeling of being run down and mired in the muck of life!


A critical step in the process of getting re-energized is being able to wake up each morning and loving what lies ahead. With that in mind, there may come a time when you seriously need to consider Reinventing Your Life. Without having defined goal(s) in our lives we soon find ourselves in rut that feels like it's three feet deep.  Some people refer to feeling "trapped with no way out."  It's not unusual for these folks to be discouraged and depressed.  They ask themselves things like, "is this all there is?"  The thought of being 
re-energized is a pipe dream at best.  


I've thought about what allows people to lead successful, happy, and energized lives.  Here are some characteristics of these people that everyone has the opportunity to incorporate in their own daily lives:


Successful People...


...have a clear dream or goal.  They pay attention to what makes them feel happy, enthusiastic, and energized.  They use that information to assist them in making the right choices and decisions.


...visualize and affirm their success.  Not all of them sit down and formally focus on visualizations and affirmations.  They picture their dreams and in their own internal dialog they affirm their ability to achieve their goals.


...trust their intuition.  Whether they call it a hunch, an instinct, or Divine guidance, they pay attention to their inner voice.  They listen to it and act upon it.


...take appropriate risks.  They understand that they'll have to move out of their "comfort zone" at times and risk doing something unfamiliar.  They know that everyone feels nervous and anxious when attempting something new.  Despite this discomfort, they persevere.


...have patience and faith.  To achieve their goals they have a long-term perspective.  They know they'll achieve what they desire.  They understand that there will be tough times but they keep at it.


...take action.  They understand that small steps are important.  They have a plan.  If they meet with a detour or an impediment in their path, they simply step back and reassess the situation.  They discover where they may have gone wrong and proceed to take action again...this time in the right direction.


So if you want to feel successful about your life think about the possibility that it's time to re-invent yourself.

3 Easy Steps to Re-energize Your LIfe

How often have you thought about doing something new or completely 

different in your life?

Perhaps you thought about writing a best-seller, starting your own business, moving to a foreign country, run a marathon, or fulfill a lifelong dream.  When you think about a new adventure is there an uplifting feeling welling up inside of you?  If the answer is YES then read on.


If you've been putting off pursuing your dream, your vision because there is so much going on in your life let me recommend that you STOP...now!  Call time out.  You may think that your so busy or at least that's what you tell yourself, that you've gotten to the place where you believe what you hear.


How often do you begin a conversation with someone and you ask how they are doing and the response is, "I've been so busy."  Granted we all have responsibilities, jobs, families, but maybe its more an issue of good time/life management skills than just so much 'stuff' going on.   Both my Mom and Dad worked full time, raised a family, had yard and house work and yet there was always time at the end of the day or weekends.  And all the wonderful time saving conveniences  of today did not exist then. 


So let me share with you the following steps that will lead you out of "busy" and help you re-energize your life so you can pursue those dreams and goals that always seem out of reach.  Soon you'll find the path that is best suited  to your purpose and passion.


Step One:  Make YOU a Priority!
In our "crazy busy" lives it's so easy to take care of everyone and everything else with little or no time left for ourselves.  By the end of most days are you spent with little or no energy for you?  The good news is YOU change that and make yourself a priority.
I challenge you to set aside 5 minutes every day to do NOTHING.  Doing nothing means just that...5 minutes without using a cellphone, computer, checking email, Facebook, watching TV...NOTHING!  And do NOTHING with NO ONE else.
What's interesting is most people don't think they can afford just 5 minutes a day to do nothing and to be quiet, think, meditate.  How about you?  Are you up for the 5 minute DO NOTHING Challenge?


Step Two:  Discover Who You Are
Take a moment to notice your response when you hear a friend, workmate, neighbor say they are going on a great vacation, change jobs, retire, or switch careers.  You'll quickly receive clues to your whereabouts by paying attention to what you feel.  Is there a sense of excitement, dread, curiosity, wonder or overall fear?
Remember to achieve what you desire, you'll have to want it more than your afraid of it.  I read once "to feel alive in our hearts we must also allow vulnerability."  Can you afford to be vulnerable and take the chance to discover what makes you feel alive?  Can you afford not to?


Step Three:  Learn What Makes Your Heart Sing
Begin simply and simply begin.  If you're uncertain about what makes your heart sing begin by being kind to yourself.  Take one step at a time and be open to new possibilities.  Notice what puts a smile on your face and lifts your spirit.  Carry a small notepad with you to jot down those things.  Never underestimate YOUR POWER to change and re-energize your life.  It's never to late to start a new chapter!

ON SECOND THOUGHT

On Second Thought

Welcome to my second article in a series entitled, "On Second Thought".  These articles deal with life issues that I believe all of us deal with from time to time in our lives.  Sometimes they're personal.  

Today "On Second Thought" tackles the question of 'who is my best friend?'  Just how important is it to be able at any age to call someone your best friend?

I have a survey on my blog site that asks followers: "Do you have a long lost friend that you would like to get in touch with?  Overwhelmingly the answer has been YES!  Maybe for many of us that long lost friend is or should I say was our best friend...or at least we thought they were.

The founder of Facebook has become a billionaire thanks to people asking other people if they can be their "friend".  I mean honestly, Facebook is nothing more than Mable and Gertrude back in the 1950's listening on the party line to other people's conversations. (If you were born in the last 30 years its a different kind of party line than you're probably thinking).  Today's  Facebook friends share such crucial information.  I say that in jest.  I really don't want to be a friend and hear that you just picked your nose or your baby had its first fart.

Maybe...just maybe things like Facebook, Twitter, Texting and other means of "communication" have diminished what it means to have a best friend. I was intrigued to read what a best friend is in other cultures.  In Russia, very few people have the status of 'best friend'.  These friends are entitled to call each other by their first name alone!  In India, having a friendship is a form of respect.  Friends are people who are equal in most standards.

In Central Asia, friends are allowed to give the other a nick name but only one's best friend.

To the ancients, friendship was the happiest and most fully human of all loves.

According to the American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships.  The report goes on to say that modern American friendships have lost the force and importance they had in the past.  Can we afford to allow that and still get through life?

My mother once told me if I had ONE best friend that would do.  I thought she was nuts...just one?  

On Second Thought I think she was right.  I had a best friend.  We knew each other from kindergarten all the way through college together. How many people can say that?  He did everything at my house growing up. My parents spent a good amount of time raising and feeding him. When we went to the lake for the weekend he was there. In high school, I went to his wrestling matches and he came to my basketball games. We were college roommates and started on the college basketball team in the backcourt for 3 years.  We could look at each other and know what the other was thinking.  Then we left college.  The end.  NO really 'the end'.  Repeated attempts to reach him have been ignored.  Then by one of those "holy cow moments" in life, I met my best friend's cousin.  He tried to make a connection that was soundly denied. I then had the opportunity to speak with our other best friend who told me, "yep I've tried but he won't talk to me either."  Friends in college have tried...no contact.  

I miss my "Best Friend".  We did everything together.  I'm not sure what happened.  Thankfully I still have my other Best Friend.  If you saw one of the three us you always saw the other two.  It was always the three of us. We both miss the other. We have both tried and tried.

Best friends...life changes people.  Sometimes we don't know why.  As best friends we make every attempt to be there for the other.  Stuff happens.  Best friends don't care.  We love each other no matter what comes down the road.  It's been said that a best friend knows what you do in the dark and still loves you.  The three of us are now in our 50's.  And we've each certainly go down different paths. 

Time, distance and events don't need to separate best friends.  To my long lost friend who lives in Wisconsin think back to 5th grade and our teacher Ms. Miller.  Think back to one of our spelling classes.  She was teaching the three of us and our classmates that day when does "i come before e."  Then Ms. Miller said, "Here's the best example I can give you about this rule.  When spelling the word 'friend' remember that  "a friend is a friend to the end...f-r-i-e-n-d."

On Second Thought maybe my mom was right...

MAKE 2011 THE "YEAR OF YOU"

If you're old enough you remember the "Etch-A-Sketch".  The cheap little black board with the 'magic' film that laid on top and the hard plastic pencil used to write or draw with on the pad.  If you wanted to start over, do something different, draw a new picture all you had to do was lift up the film and ta-da everything vanished like magic!  (OK so you had to be there when you got an Etch-A-Sketch in the 60's.)


I've heard from many people that 2010 was not the greatest.  So its time to lift the Etch-A-Sketch film and write how we'd like to see 2011.  Here's a few tips to help you plan for a fulfilling and exciting year.  Keep in mind...it's your choice.  This brand new year can be rewarding or regretful.  Make it rewarding by setting goals for yourself and resolve not to give up by the first week in February.  Be able to say, "Look how much I accomplished this year!


1.  Write it down.  You've heard it before, but the truth is writing down your goals forces you to get clear about what you want.  Use a pen and paper, not a computer.  Hand writing your goals makes you think!


2.  Tell someone.  Talking about your goal(s) even if it seems huge and impossible allows others to encourage and help you by providing resources and information you may need.


3.  Take baby steps.  Even small steps taken towards your goal(s) consistently will move you into the right direction.  Once you've experienced a few small wins, taking bigger steps will be easier.


4.  Take some BIG steps.  Don't take all year to do what you can accomplish in a day.  Once you've written down your list of goals for the year, figure out which goals could be accomplished this month - or even today.


5.  Decide and act.  Mental hurdles may keep you from making decisions and taking actions.  Get over it!  Make a list of all the reasons you want to accomplish your stated goals.


6.  Team up.  Having a success buddy can keep you accountable.  Meet regularly and discuss where you're at and any obstacles that need avoided.


7.  CELEBRATE Your successes.  Every time you reach a milestone, acknowledge your accomplishments in a positive way.  Celebrating your success will keep you focused on the larger goal.


Now go out and make 2011 the best year of your life!