Picture this...
A little child is crawling around a new surrounding when they notice--for the first time--a huge staircase. As this little one gazes up at the new apparatus, what thoughts do you think are going on in their mind? How do one-year olds think about new things? How do they react to the unknown?
If you are around little children, you now the response. They would say, "Wow, I've got to get to the top!"
Alternately, do you think they would look up the huge staircase and think, "Wow I've got to get to the top but wait a minute...I didn't go to stair climbing school. Maybe I'm not ready. I'll just wait until I have my degree in stair climbing and then watch me go."
On the other hand, would this little one look up they huge staircase and think, "Wow, I've got to get to the top...but wait. I might get hurt. I may fail. I've heard it said 22% of one-year olds fall on staircases. It's just too risky.
Or would this one-year old think, "Wow, I've got to get to the top...but wait. What will my friends say? What if I succeed? They may think I don't fit in with the group back in the sandbox. They might think I'm one of those snobby, famous stair climbers. You know what they say ...it's lonely at the top! I better not. It's just not worth it."
NOT!! A one-year old wouldn't say any of these things. O one-year old is hungry for adventure. They have an inborn, risk-taking ability. It is their nature to risk. They see it. They want it. They take it.
So, what happened? What happened to the natural risk-taking ability that you were born with?
Life happened! Circumstances occurred. Disappointments happened. And you, like me, began to let fear creep in. Slowly and surely, fear began to grow until it was bigger than your dream, bigger than your faith.
Has life circumstances and disappointments silenced your risk-taking ability? Has fear crushed your hunger for adventure.
The first step to getting your hunger for adventure back is to realize your innate risk-taking ability. It's your nature to risk. So break through your comfort zone and look up the staircase again and dream about what's at the top!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Who's To Blame for Penn State?
If you've been living in a cave or under a rock you haven't heard of the hideous crime that came to light last week at Penn State University and their football team.
Jerry Sandusky, a former long time defensive coach for the staff of Joe Paterno allegedly, sexually assaulted a number of young, vulnerable boys, one in the shower of the football team's locker room on the grounds of Penn State. In essence, Sandusky raped these boys who he had literally "cut out of the herd" for his choosing. These boys were selected out of a nonprofit started and run by Sandusky called "The Second Mile".
There are a number of people being implicated as the investigation begins to point fingers at those being guilty for doing nothing to stop Sandusky, Most of these individuals had prior knowledge of Sandusky's transgressions but turned a blind eye. As of November 15, 2011 it's clear that there will be more information coming to the forefront by investigators of individuals who played a role in letting this monster prey on these innocent children.
The list begins with a graduate assistant who was an eyewitness to the 61 year old Sandusky having alleged sexual contact with a ten year old in the shower. The grad assistant is reported to have done nothing at the time of the assault. He ran home and called his father and asked what he should do. Keep in mind please that this assistant is an adult man yet he failed to do the right thing.
Then there is coach Joe Paterno. After being told by the grad assistant of the assault, Paterno also failed morally to take action. Paterno did call the Athletic Director of Penn State who also did nothing but call the college president. HELLO did anyone ever think of calling 9-1-1? Did the grad assistant ever think of shoving Sandusky to the floor, grabbing the young victim and running to safety? Am I to assume that if the same ten year old was hanging out of a burning house he would have called another adult to ask what to do?
Keep in mind that Sandusky ten years earlier had been up on charges for child molestation but witnesses were kept quiet. And if you've never heard, the prosecutor for that case later came up missing. As in he was never seen again missing. It wasn't until this past July that he was legally declared dead.
The Grand Jury report is online and you can read the details of this case. I warn you in advance it is a very difficult read...but before you begin to feel sorry for the 84 year old grandfatherly Paterno, you should make a good faith attempt to understand how dastardly this crime was by everyone who was involved.
So listening to the stories of this incident got me to thinking in a different light. If you're a college football fan there's a good chance you're not going to necessarily agree with my opinion. Keep in mind, I've played ball, been a fan and coached.
While watching ESPN's Sportscenter, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, listening to local sports reporters, radio talk shows, everyone basically share the same thoughts about this case. Never mind if you're a liberal, conservative, independent, Republican, Democrat, atheist, Catholic, Jewish...well you get the picture. This crime crosses all legal and moral boundaries.
So who's to blame for what happened at Penn State? Well for Penn State in particular we now know some of the names. More will come out in the investigation. But here's my take on this whole story.
The people not being mentioned as being a part of the bigger picture of such crimes are:
Jerry Sandusky, a former long time defensive coach for the staff of Joe Paterno allegedly, sexually assaulted a number of young, vulnerable boys, one in the shower of the football team's locker room on the grounds of Penn State. In essence, Sandusky raped these boys who he had literally "cut out of the herd" for his choosing. These boys were selected out of a nonprofit started and run by Sandusky called "The Second Mile".
There are a number of people being implicated as the investigation begins to point fingers at those being guilty for doing nothing to stop Sandusky, Most of these individuals had prior knowledge of Sandusky's transgressions but turned a blind eye. As of November 15, 2011 it's clear that there will be more information coming to the forefront by investigators of individuals who played a role in letting this monster prey on these innocent children.
The list begins with a graduate assistant who was an eyewitness to the 61 year old Sandusky having alleged sexual contact with a ten year old in the shower. The grad assistant is reported to have done nothing at the time of the assault. He ran home and called his father and asked what he should do. Keep in mind please that this assistant is an adult man yet he failed to do the right thing.
Then there is coach Joe Paterno. After being told by the grad assistant of the assault, Paterno also failed morally to take action. Paterno did call the Athletic Director of Penn State who also did nothing but call the college president. HELLO did anyone ever think of calling 9-1-1? Did the grad assistant ever think of shoving Sandusky to the floor, grabbing the young victim and running to safety? Am I to assume that if the same ten year old was hanging out of a burning house he would have called another adult to ask what to do?
Keep in mind that Sandusky ten years earlier had been up on charges for child molestation but witnesses were kept quiet. And if you've never heard, the prosecutor for that case later came up missing. As in he was never seen again missing. It wasn't until this past July that he was legally declared dead.
The Grand Jury report is online and you can read the details of this case. I warn you in advance it is a very difficult read...but before you begin to feel sorry for the 84 year old grandfatherly Paterno, you should make a good faith attempt to understand how dastardly this crime was by everyone who was involved.
So listening to the stories of this incident got me to thinking in a different light. If you're a college football fan there's a good chance you're not going to necessarily agree with my opinion. Keep in mind, I've played ball, been a fan and coached.
While watching ESPN's Sportscenter, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, listening to local sports reporters, radio talk shows, everyone basically share the same thoughts about this case. Never mind if you're a liberal, conservative, independent, Republican, Democrat, atheist, Catholic, Jewish...well you get the picture. This crime crosses all legal and moral boundaries.
So who's to blame for what happened at Penn State? Well for Penn State in particular we now know some of the names. More will come out in the investigation. But here's my take on this whole story.
The people not being mentioned as being a part of the bigger picture of such crimes are:
YOU and ME
Yep...you and me. Now before you get offended and say you would never have anything to do with something like Penn State hear me out. Let me share some thoughts...
Thought #1 College football is a sport that builds statues to "living" coaches and players. If you need any more evidence that college football is in the midst of a new era of blind extravagance and euphoric self-congratulation all you have to do is start counting statues. A growing number of schools across the nation have decided that they aren't content to reward coaches by paying them millions of dollars or retiring a jersey number. The University of Oklahoma, of which I have ties to, is becoming statue central. OU has four statues of their Heisman trophy winners with former quarterback Sam Bradford's on the way. OU also plans statues of four coaches including current head coach Bob Stoops.
It's one thing to support Marshall University's decision to display a memorial to the members of the 1970 football team who died in a plane crash. But when a conversation about football statuary starts to veer towards the likes of Nick Saban, Danny Wuerffel, and Tim Tebow, it's probably time to stop, locate the nearest bag, and breathe into it.
Thought #2 Coaches have way too much power...period. When a newspaper reporter asked a college administrator who was the most powerful man at Penn State, he hesitated and then said, "Well I suppose the college president but really it's Joe Paterno." Really a school with an enrollment of over 95,000 students is led by what happens on campus by an 84 year old football coach?
Go to YouTube and watch the ESPN segment entitled, "Nick Saban Explains his Alabama Job." Listen carefully to what's said in that clip. It's also reported that when Saban's jet landed in Alabama the day he accepted the head foot coach's position that people lined the roads and chanted his name.
Thought #3 College football is a cash monster! It has taken on a life of its own. Coaches are paid millions of dollars. If you don't think money plays a role in this whole fiasco called college football you would be wrong. Go back and read about Southern Methodist University and that scandal. Read how the college regents, the college president, boosters, players, the governor of Texas, and yes even George Bush had a role. Read about Eric Dickerson and the hot car his grandmother "bought" him. SMU received the death penalty from the NCAA and to this day 20+ years later has not recovered. All because of a group of greedy power hungry old men.
Thought #4 Intelligent, rational, good-hearted people who attend and support college football as fans are willing to offer blind trust to mere men. And that my friends is where you and me are complicit. Joe Paterno is a man. Bobby Bowden, long-time Florida State football coach with his "dadgum" folksy way is a man. Nick Saban, Tom Osborne, Steve Spurrier, Barry Switzer, any coach is just a man. Ask Jim Tressel what happened this year at Ohio State when the power of the position went to his head.
The power granted to football coaches by the thousands if not millions of fans, boosters with big bucks, and other funders is dangerous and bad things can happen as we have witnessed at Penn State. As fans we are at least partially responsible for the consequences of what occurs on our college campuses. We empower mere men to go beyond being football coaches...and in some cases would it be wrong to say we create coaches with a god complex?
So Penn State played Nebraska this past weekend. As Nebraska fans prepared to travel to College Station to attend the game the question they were asking Coach Osborne was should they wear their red shirts. Was it OK to wear red? These were adults, 40, 50, 60 years old asking! Really! The last time anyone asked me what color would be appropriate to wear...was...well my daughter when she 7 years old.
And what were some of the Penn State fans wearing at the game? They were wearing a t-shirt that read:
"You have Jesus...We have Joe-paw."
Enough said.
Pray for those who are the true victims.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Now Where Did I Put My Memory
One of the simplest but most powerful habits I have established in my life is to write things down. Why is it so important?
1) If your memory is anything like mine it's a leaking bucket.
I have noticed when reviewing old notes how much my memory can leak. The memory isn't all that reliable. Every time we remember something we recreate what happened rather than just replay a film from our mental archives. So we need some kind of system outside of ourselves.
2) Ideas don't stay for long.
Fine or awesome ideas can pop up at the strangest times but they tend not to stay for long in your head. So you need to capture them fast or they are gone in the wind.
3) Written goals are very important.
One thing a lot of very successful self-improvement writers go on and on about is the importance of having written goals. A written goal brings clarity and focus. It gives you direction. And by rewriting your goals you not only reaffirm what your goals are you may also find new insights that bring more clarity and focus to your goal and life.
4) To remind yourself of what to focus on.
Often we get caught up in our everyday business and lose track of what is most important. To keep yourself on track - instead of just keeping yourself busy with low-priority tasks - simply write down a reminder that can stop your thoughts when you see it and guide you back on track again. It can for example be your current goal. I also like reminders like: "keep things extremely simple" and "what is the most important thing I can do right now?" Write down your reminder and put that reminder where you can't avoid seeing it throughout your day.
5) Unloading your mental RAM.
When you don't occupy your mind with having to remember every little thing - like how much milk to get - you become less stressed and it becomes easier to think clearly. This is, in my opinion, one of the most important reasons to write things down. Feeling calmer and more relaxed does not only improves your health but also makes life easier and more smooth and effective.
6) Get to know yourself and your life better and improve long-term focus.
You can use a journal as a way to keep an overview of your thinking over a longer span and to recognize both positives and negatives in your thinking and actions.
By writing things down you can help yourself to spot trouble and get yourself back on track and keep yourself there within a larger time frame. Or your journal may tell you something that you haven't really paid much attention to about yourself and/or about your life. And so this can bring clarity.
So here are some of the most important reasons why I write everything down. How to capture your thoughts? Well, that's up to you. Try different ways and find the ones that you feel most comfortable and effective with.
1) If your memory is anything like mine it's a leaking bucket.
I have noticed when reviewing old notes how much my memory can leak. The memory isn't all that reliable. Every time we remember something we recreate what happened rather than just replay a film from our mental archives. So we need some kind of system outside of ourselves.
2) Ideas don't stay for long.
Fine or awesome ideas can pop up at the strangest times but they tend not to stay for long in your head. So you need to capture them fast or they are gone in the wind.
3) Written goals are very important.
One thing a lot of very successful self-improvement writers go on and on about is the importance of having written goals. A written goal brings clarity and focus. It gives you direction. And by rewriting your goals you not only reaffirm what your goals are you may also find new insights that bring more clarity and focus to your goal and life.
4) To remind yourself of what to focus on.
Often we get caught up in our everyday business and lose track of what is most important. To keep yourself on track - instead of just keeping yourself busy with low-priority tasks - simply write down a reminder that can stop your thoughts when you see it and guide you back on track again. It can for example be your current goal. I also like reminders like: "keep things extremely simple" and "what is the most important thing I can do right now?" Write down your reminder and put that reminder where you can't avoid seeing it throughout your day.
5) Unloading your mental RAM.
When you don't occupy your mind with having to remember every little thing - like how much milk to get - you become less stressed and it becomes easier to think clearly. This is, in my opinion, one of the most important reasons to write things down. Feeling calmer and more relaxed does not only improves your health but also makes life easier and more smooth and effective.
6) Get to know yourself and your life better and improve long-term focus.
You can use a journal as a way to keep an overview of your thinking over a longer span and to recognize both positives and negatives in your thinking and actions.
By writing things down you can help yourself to spot trouble and get yourself back on track and keep yourself there within a larger time frame. Or your journal may tell you something that you haven't really paid much attention to about yourself and/or about your life. And so this can bring clarity.
So here are some of the most important reasons why I write everything down. How to capture your thoughts? Well, that's up to you. Try different ways and find the ones that you feel most comfortable and effective with.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Timeout!
Wow Walmart has all their Christmas trees and aisles set up. UGH! Already? Really? OK let's call a timeout on 2011. How is your year going so far? It's good from time to time to review how things are going. So I have four valuable questions to ask yourself as you track the year.
1. How can I give value in this situation? This is a great way to improve your relationships and interactions. Four awesome reasons to give value in your everyday are:
*It makes you feel awesome
*You tend to get what you give
*It makes your life a whole lot more fun
*It makes it easier to start start new relationships and improve old ones.
What value can you give in a situation/to another person?
2. Would I rather be right or be happy? Wow what a question.
Right in this question means the need to judge, the need to be right while interacting with other people. It's not just about the guy who can't be wrong in a discussion though.
It's about the thought that you don't always have to be against people or things. You don't have to exist in a "me against the world" or "me against someone" head space. You can just relax, be cool and be with people instead of being against them in some subtle or not so subtle ways.
Feeling like you are right can bring some pleasure. But beyond that there is a lot more connection, happiness and positivity to be found.
3. What is the mot important thing I can do right now? If you are lost in what you do next in your day, your week or life, ask yourself this question. The answer might not always be what you want to hear because the most important thing is often one of the harder things you want to do too. But it can help you to check your priorities and stop you from getting lost in busy work and instead start tracking the really big stuff that will improve your life in any area in the long run.
4. What do I think is the right thing to do? One of the hardest things to do in life is to do the right thing. What you think is the right thing. Not what your friends, family, teachers, boss and society thinks is the right thing. What is the right thing? Here are three reasons to do the right thing:
*You tend to get what you give. By doing the right thing you tend to get the same things back. Give value to people, help them and they will often want to help you and give you value in some form. Do the right thing, put in extra effort and you get good stuff back.
*To raise your self-esteem. When you don't do the right thing you are not only sending out signals out into your world. You are also sending signals to yourself. When you don't do the right thing you don't feel good about yourself. To not do the right thing is a bit like punching yourself in the stomach.
*To avoid self-sabotage. A powerful side effect of not doing the right thing is that you give yourself a lack of deservedness. By doing the right thing you can raise your level of self-esteem and feel like a person who deserves his/her success.
1. How can I give value in this situation? This is a great way to improve your relationships and interactions. Four awesome reasons to give value in your everyday are:
*It makes you feel awesome
*You tend to get what you give
*It makes your life a whole lot more fun
*It makes it easier to start start new relationships and improve old ones.
What value can you give in a situation/to another person?
2. Would I rather be right or be happy? Wow what a question.
Right in this question means the need to judge, the need to be right while interacting with other people. It's not just about the guy who can't be wrong in a discussion though.
It's about the thought that you don't always have to be against people or things. You don't have to exist in a "me against the world" or "me against someone" head space. You can just relax, be cool and be with people instead of being against them in some subtle or not so subtle ways.
Feeling like you are right can bring some pleasure. But beyond that there is a lot more connection, happiness and positivity to be found.
3. What is the mot important thing I can do right now? If you are lost in what you do next in your day, your week or life, ask yourself this question. The answer might not always be what you want to hear because the most important thing is often one of the harder things you want to do too. But it can help you to check your priorities and stop you from getting lost in busy work and instead start tracking the really big stuff that will improve your life in any area in the long run.
4. What do I think is the right thing to do? One of the hardest things to do in life is to do the right thing. What you think is the right thing. Not what your friends, family, teachers, boss and society thinks is the right thing. What is the right thing? Here are three reasons to do the right thing:
*You tend to get what you give. By doing the right thing you tend to get the same things back. Give value to people, help them and they will often want to help you and give you value in some form. Do the right thing, put in extra effort and you get good stuff back.
*To raise your self-esteem. When you don't do the right thing you are not only sending out signals out into your world. You are also sending signals to yourself. When you don't do the right thing you don't feel good about yourself. To not do the right thing is a bit like punching yourself in the stomach.
*To avoid self-sabotage. A powerful side effect of not doing the right thing is that you give yourself a lack of deservedness. By doing the right thing you can raise your level of self-esteem and feel like a person who deserves his/her success.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
CHILL OUT!
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. Let me share with you my favorite tips to minimize stress and live more relaxed. I hope you find something helpful here, even if it's just a reminder of ways to relax that you had forgotten.
1. Accept the situation. You may be in a stressful situation and think to yourself that this shouldn't be but the incident has already arisen. So to decrease the stress you can accept the situation and deal with it rather than fight it.
2. Take many things less seriously. Taking things or yourself overly serious adds alot of unnecessary negativity and stress in your life. A minor situation may be blown up to a major one in your mind. Learn to lighten up a bit and life becomes more fun and you realize that you get great results even if you aren't super-serious about everything.
3. Decrease or put a stop to negative relationships. If someone is making you more stressed or creates a lot of negativity in your life you may want to consider decreasing the amount of time you spend with that person.
Some people almost seem to like to dwell in negativity.
4. Just move slower. If you slow down how you walk or how you move your body you can often start to feel less stressed. A stressed mind tends to run in circles a lot of the time.
5. Exercise. A simple and time-tested way to decrease inner tension is to exercise. This is one solution that works most consistently for people.
6. Find five things you can be grateful for right now. Being grateful and appreciative in your life is one of the most effective ways to turn a negative emotional state to a more positive one. So find a few things you are grateful for right now! What's the first thing you think of?
7. Look for solutions. When faced with a challenge that can cause stress, try to direct your focus to solutions rather than to dwell on the problem for too long. Dwelling only causes more stress and makes your mind less open to finding a solution.
8. Be early. just be 10 or 15 minutes early for meetings, etc. This very simple tip can cut down on stress quite a bite.
9. Do just one thing at a time when you're in a stressful period. Simple tasking and focusing on doing just one thing at a time not only decreases stress but from my experience gets things done a whole lot quicker.
10. Talk to people around you about it that you respect. Perhaps they can offer you advice or just lend an ear and some support. Just telling someone about something can often bring relieve.
1. Accept the situation. You may be in a stressful situation and think to yourself that this shouldn't be but the incident has already arisen. So to decrease the stress you can accept the situation and deal with it rather than fight it.
2. Take many things less seriously. Taking things or yourself overly serious adds alot of unnecessary negativity and stress in your life. A minor situation may be blown up to a major one in your mind. Learn to lighten up a bit and life becomes more fun and you realize that you get great results even if you aren't super-serious about everything.
3. Decrease or put a stop to negative relationships. If someone is making you more stressed or creates a lot of negativity in your life you may want to consider decreasing the amount of time you spend with that person.
Some people almost seem to like to dwell in negativity.
4. Just move slower. If you slow down how you walk or how you move your body you can often start to feel less stressed. A stressed mind tends to run in circles a lot of the time.
5. Exercise. A simple and time-tested way to decrease inner tension is to exercise. This is one solution that works most consistently for people.
6. Find five things you can be grateful for right now. Being grateful and appreciative in your life is one of the most effective ways to turn a negative emotional state to a more positive one. So find a few things you are grateful for right now! What's the first thing you think of?
7. Look for solutions. When faced with a challenge that can cause stress, try to direct your focus to solutions rather than to dwell on the problem for too long. Dwelling only causes more stress and makes your mind less open to finding a solution.
8. Be early. just be 10 or 15 minutes early for meetings, etc. This very simple tip can cut down on stress quite a bite.
9. Do just one thing at a time when you're in a stressful period. Simple tasking and focusing on doing just one thing at a time not only decreases stress but from my experience gets things done a whole lot quicker.
10. Talk to people around you about it that you respect. Perhaps they can offer you advice or just lend an ear and some support. Just telling someone about something can often bring relieve.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Float Like a Butterfly!
Muhammad Ali was the greatest. Greatest athlete of all time? He's in the conversation that's for sure. Growing up I can remember watching many of his fights. In my office I have a framed poster of the famous picture of Ali standing over Sonny Liston in May 1965. Ali would become the World Champion three times. In 1999, Sports Illustrated and the BBC named Ali as "the Sportsman of the Year."
So what can be learned from one of the best boxers of all time? Let me share five tips from Muhammad Ali and how to break through barriers in the world and in your mind.
1. Take a risk.
"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." M. Ali
To get what you really want you will pretty much always have to take risks. Of course, that can be scary. How do you overcome that fear? A few suggestions I would offer include:
*Really , really want your objective.
*Ask yourself: what's the worst thing that could happen? Remind yourself of how little of what you've feared actually happened.
*Detach from the outcome. Think about the results of your actions and focus what is out in front of you.
2. Steer clear of self-sabotage and creating inner obstacles.
"It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." M. Ali
Self-sabotage comes from thinking that you on some level simply aren't worthy of what you want. So you sabotage yourself along the way to get yourself back into the place or level of success you feel you deserve. You need to work at allowing yourself to believe that you are worthy of your success. Little by little you can change how you perceive yourself.
3. Keep your self-talk positive.
"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things will begin to happen." M. Ali
If you are always negative and down on yourself it will be alot more painful and sometimes pretty much impossible to achieve what you want. Keeping the self-talk in your head positive is essential. You can make that easier by following the tips I've shared so far.
Another helpful step is just to be mindful of how you think about things. Say "stop" and cut off negative thought threads before they become strong. Keeping your self-talk positive may seem cheesy or uncool. But beating yourself up all the time is far worse and really not helpful at all.
4. Don't make a big deal out of it.
"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." M. Ali
So you create a more positive self-image by doing the right thing and keeping your self-talk positive. But it's also a good thing to not go overboard. If you think its a big deal then its becomes a big deal in your mind. I think its awhole lot easier to keep the self-talk positive and be a humble person.
5. Use your emotional leverage to succeed.
"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even." M. Ali
If you have an interest is personal development then you have probably ht a point sometime in your past where you said, "Enough of this...something has to change." Or you felt like you hit rock bottom. But as Ali says, it's also there you can find that extra motivation and power to push through.
When you've had enough you will find a way to change your life. Simply remind yourself of how it was when things were tough. Your worse times are probably not fun at all when they are happening. But later on they can be a great teacher. They can become some of the most helpful and powerful experiences of your life.
So what can be learned from one of the best boxers of all time? Let me share five tips from Muhammad Ali and how to break through barriers in the world and in your mind.
1. Take a risk.
"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." M. Ali
To get what you really want you will pretty much always have to take risks. Of course, that can be scary. How do you overcome that fear? A few suggestions I would offer include:
*Really , really want your objective.
*Ask yourself: what's the worst thing that could happen? Remind yourself of how little of what you've feared actually happened.
*Detach from the outcome. Think about the results of your actions and focus what is out in front of you.
2. Steer clear of self-sabotage and creating inner obstacles.
"It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." M. Ali
Self-sabotage comes from thinking that you on some level simply aren't worthy of what you want. So you sabotage yourself along the way to get yourself back into the place or level of success you feel you deserve. You need to work at allowing yourself to believe that you are worthy of your success. Little by little you can change how you perceive yourself.
3. Keep your self-talk positive.
"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things will begin to happen." M. Ali
If you are always negative and down on yourself it will be alot more painful and sometimes pretty much impossible to achieve what you want. Keeping the self-talk in your head positive is essential. You can make that easier by following the tips I've shared so far.
Another helpful step is just to be mindful of how you think about things. Say "stop" and cut off negative thought threads before they become strong. Keeping your self-talk positive may seem cheesy or uncool. But beating yourself up all the time is far worse and really not helpful at all.
4. Don't make a big deal out of it.
"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." M. Ali
So you create a more positive self-image by doing the right thing and keeping your self-talk positive. But it's also a good thing to not go overboard. If you think its a big deal then its becomes a big deal in your mind. I think its awhole lot easier to keep the self-talk positive and be a humble person.
5. Use your emotional leverage to succeed.
"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even." M. Ali
If you have an interest is personal development then you have probably ht a point sometime in your past where you said, "Enough of this...something has to change." Or you felt like you hit rock bottom. But as Ali says, it's also there you can find that extra motivation and power to push through.
When you've had enough you will find a way to change your life. Simply remind yourself of how it was when things were tough. Your worse times are probably not fun at all when they are happening. But later on they can be a great teacher. They can become some of the most helpful and powerful experiences of your life.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Top Ten Self Motivating Tips
As I continue to do LifeWorks presentations across the area, there's something I learned about people. Actually, I believe I already knew this but as presentations and speeches come and go, my suspicion becomes more reality.
No one can motivate anyone to do anything!
The only thing I can do is provide incentives for people who attend my speeches and workshops. Now what does matter is if they follow through. I believe we have a generation that even incentives no longer work like they once did for most people. We live in a "I want it now" generation. To actually take the time to work on an issue in our lives to make them better takes time. In some cases months if not years.
IF...you need to motivate yourself to look for that new job, start that project, begin exercising, saving money, (Yes we use to do that in America), make amends with someone, well here are ten Self-Motivating Tips that you can use.
1. Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving your potential is your comfort zone! Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.
2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.
3. Don't indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.
4. Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is your birthright so don't settle for anything else.
5. Spend at least an hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring cd's.
6. Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as we try to accomplish a task. Finish one before you begin another.
7. Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future you aren't able to make things happen in the present.
8. Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, "Joy is the serious business of heaven."
9. Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be just around the corner.
10. Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to be the law of exception then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.
No one can motivate anyone to do anything!
The only thing I can do is provide incentives for people who attend my speeches and workshops. Now what does matter is if they follow through. I believe we have a generation that even incentives no longer work like they once did for most people. We live in a "I want it now" generation. To actually take the time to work on an issue in our lives to make them better takes time. In some cases months if not years.
IF...you need to motivate yourself to look for that new job, start that project, begin exercising, saving money, (Yes we use to do that in America), make amends with someone, well here are ten Self-Motivating Tips that you can use.
1. Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving your potential is your comfort zone! Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.
2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.
3. Don't indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.
4. Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is your birthright so don't settle for anything else.
5. Spend at least an hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring cd's.
6. Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as we try to accomplish a task. Finish one before you begin another.
7. Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future you aren't able to make things happen in the present.
8. Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, "Joy is the serious business of heaven."
9. Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be just around the corner.
10. Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to be the law of exception then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Overwhelmed...Who Isn't Right?
Lately many people I've been talking to have been complaining, and in most cases justly so, about being overwhelmed. I have to admit that I've wrestled with it too. Being overwhelmed stinks!
Complaining about being overwhelmed never seems to be the remedy. It sucks the energy right out of your life. My schedule, work, family, just life in general can in a word overwhelm you. Here's my advice to you-and to myself-for dealing with being overwhelmed.
1. Recognize that overwhelm isn't real. Its not something that attacks us. It's a feeling we experience based upon a belief there's too much to do and too little time to do it. It's fear-plain and simple, And once we recognize and acknowledge it, we're better equipped to deal with it.
2. Be grateful. Appreciate the fact that you have the opportunities and the projects that allow you to contribute to the world.
3. Accept the fact that you will never be caught up. If you're a person of action, someone with goals and aspirations, it's not likely that you'll ever have an empty inbox. The times in which we live and our ability to do meaningful work throughout our lives leads me to believe that we will always have tings left to do.
4. Understand that we can only think about one thing at a time. I think that "multi-tasking" is highly over rated. We can really only handle one thought in our mind at a time. Trying to think about more than one thing as once is very tiring and frustrating.
5. Be selective. The biggest weapon you have in fighting overwhelm is your ability to prioritize what you need to do. By making intelligent choices based upon urgent, non-urgent, important and non-important, we can focus better. Basing these choices on our core values, we can relax in the belief that we're doing what matters the most.
6. Delegate. Learn to gain the assistance of others. People like to help but you have to ask! Anything that can be adequately done by someone else should be delegated. It's an important skill worth developing.
7. Learn to say "no". Our feelings of overwhelm largely come from taking on too much. If you're asked to do something don't be too quick to accept the assignment. You might think you're being a nice person, but if you succumb to health problems because of it, you won't be nice much longer.
8. Take care of yourself. Remember to take breaks in your life. The tendency for many of us is to work harder and longer. In actuality we can get more done in less time and with less effort if we take care of ourselves first. It's not being selfish...it's being smart!
9. Breathe! When we feel overwhelmed we have a tendency to tighten up instead of relaxing. It seems like there are many things at times we HAVE to do, but the only thing we REALLY have to do is breathe! Take some long deep breaths and feel yourself returning to the present.
10. Focus on the task at hand. If we're thinking about what's NOT getting done or all the other things we have to do, we can't focus well on what we're doing now. Think about what you are doing rather than what you're not getting done. Otherwise, you going to be defeated by your feelings of overwhelm.
Complaining about being overwhelmed never seems to be the remedy. It sucks the energy right out of your life. My schedule, work, family, just life in general can in a word overwhelm you. Here's my advice to you-and to myself-for dealing with being overwhelmed.
1. Recognize that overwhelm isn't real. Its not something that attacks us. It's a feeling we experience based upon a belief there's too much to do and too little time to do it. It's fear-plain and simple, And once we recognize and acknowledge it, we're better equipped to deal with it.
2. Be grateful. Appreciate the fact that you have the opportunities and the projects that allow you to contribute to the world.
3. Accept the fact that you will never be caught up. If you're a person of action, someone with goals and aspirations, it's not likely that you'll ever have an empty inbox. The times in which we live and our ability to do meaningful work throughout our lives leads me to believe that we will always have tings left to do.
4. Understand that we can only think about one thing at a time. I think that "multi-tasking" is highly over rated. We can really only handle one thought in our mind at a time. Trying to think about more than one thing as once is very tiring and frustrating.
5. Be selective. The biggest weapon you have in fighting overwhelm is your ability to prioritize what you need to do. By making intelligent choices based upon urgent, non-urgent, important and non-important, we can focus better. Basing these choices on our core values, we can relax in the belief that we're doing what matters the most.
6. Delegate. Learn to gain the assistance of others. People like to help but you have to ask! Anything that can be adequately done by someone else should be delegated. It's an important skill worth developing.
7. Learn to say "no". Our feelings of overwhelm largely come from taking on too much. If you're asked to do something don't be too quick to accept the assignment. You might think you're being a nice person, but if you succumb to health problems because of it, you won't be nice much longer.
8. Take care of yourself. Remember to take breaks in your life. The tendency for many of us is to work harder and longer. In actuality we can get more done in less time and with less effort if we take care of ourselves first. It's not being selfish...it's being smart!
9. Breathe! When we feel overwhelmed we have a tendency to tighten up instead of relaxing. It seems like there are many things at times we HAVE to do, but the only thing we REALLY have to do is breathe! Take some long deep breaths and feel yourself returning to the present.
10. Focus on the task at hand. If we're thinking about what's NOT getting done or all the other things we have to do, we can't focus well on what we're doing now. Think about what you are doing rather than what you're not getting done. Otherwise, you going to be defeated by your feelings of overwhelm.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
"Talk to Me"
Why are people so stressed out any more? Why is it that were so busy we don't have the time to sit down and talk to each other? When did 144 characters on Twitter become enough? Why are many of us "stressed" now days?
Part of the problem I believe any more is that even though we now have a myriad of ways to "communicate" with one another, e.g. Face book, email, Twitter, texting, oh the thing called a land line phone, and yes the cellphone, we really are developing into a culture that has no idea on how to "talk". Thus one of the reasons why so many people get "stressed" out.
A friend I know tells me that a co-worker is no more than 20 feet away and sends 1-2 line emails throughout the workday rather than walking the 15 steps or so and actually communicating with said person. It's so much more productive to then send an email back to them and then have them send a thank you email in return and you sending another email saying 'no problem' and then them saying 'thank you'...ok so I'm being slightly sarcastic.
Recently I was at a restaurant around noon on a Sunday. One family it appeared had just come from church. Mom and Dad, three children with granpa and granma. They no more than got seated when the Mom was on her cellphone along with all three children! The youngest was like 7 or 8 years old. A moment later, Dad was texting. And there sat Granma and Granpa sitting on their hands. Not quite a Norman Rockwell moment. And don't get me started when the waiter came to their table to take their order! (If I had been the waiter I would have shouted, "Your attention please".)
I heard on the Discovery Channel that there is now more technology in today's cell phone than what was in the Apollo spacecraft that went to the moon! Now I'm not criticizing all the great technology that has come down the pike in the last decade or so. But take someones phone from them for 30 minutes...no 15 minutes and there's a good chance they have a panic attack. Couples use to tell a counselor, "we just don't talk any more". Gosh what is it now...he just stopped "Twittering" me.
All I'm saying is this...let's talk to each other and listen to what's being said. If you're in a relationship let the other person hear "I love you". If you have kids "tell" them why something is unacceptable or why we don't act that way. "Show" people that you care by your actions rather than your Tweet.
Cellphone companies blast us everyday with commericals on why we should go with their "plan". Hey with my plan you get unlimited minutes, any time day or night, anywhere coverage...for FREE. Let's talk.
Part of the problem I believe any more is that even though we now have a myriad of ways to "communicate" with one another, e.g. Face book, email, Twitter, texting, oh the thing called a land line phone, and yes the cellphone, we really are developing into a culture that has no idea on how to "talk". Thus one of the reasons why so many people get "stressed" out.
A friend I know tells me that a co-worker is no more than 20 feet away and sends 1-2 line emails throughout the workday rather than walking the 15 steps or so and actually communicating with said person. It's so much more productive to then send an email back to them and then have them send a thank you email in return and you sending another email saying 'no problem' and then them saying 'thank you'...ok so I'm being slightly sarcastic.
Recently I was at a restaurant around noon on a Sunday. One family it appeared had just come from church. Mom and Dad, three children with granpa and granma. They no more than got seated when the Mom was on her cellphone along with all three children! The youngest was like 7 or 8 years old. A moment later, Dad was texting. And there sat Granma and Granpa sitting on their hands. Not quite a Norman Rockwell moment. And don't get me started when the waiter came to their table to take their order! (If I had been the waiter I would have shouted, "Your attention please".)
I heard on the Discovery Channel that there is now more technology in today's cell phone than what was in the Apollo spacecraft that went to the moon! Now I'm not criticizing all the great technology that has come down the pike in the last decade or so. But take someones phone from them for 30 minutes...no 15 minutes and there's a good chance they have a panic attack. Couples use to tell a counselor, "we just don't talk any more". Gosh what is it now...he just stopped "Twittering" me.
All I'm saying is this...let's talk to each other and listen to what's being said. If you're in a relationship let the other person hear "I love you". If you have kids "tell" them why something is unacceptable or why we don't act that way. "Show" people that you care by your actions rather than your Tweet.
Cellphone companies blast us everyday with commericals on why we should go with their "plan". Hey with my plan you get unlimited minutes, any time day or night, anywhere coverage...for FREE. Let's talk.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Class of '71...40 Years & Counting
The High School Reunion of 1971
FORTY YEARS!!! Are you kidding me? Wasn't it just the other day I was sitting in my Commerical Arts class with Raymond Atwood who was slightly aloof? He would talk about his cottage in England. Later that day I went to Kendall Natvig's Psychology class and he was talking about the Id, Ego and Super Ego or something like that. Most of us actually did learn something. Then there was Coach Bob Buckley out with the track team working his mind games with us. How many track coaches do so smoking a pipe and looking all Ward Cleaver?The Class of 1971 in Webster City, Iowa. At the time we were the largest school in the conference...and yes our claim to fame was football. Imagine that. Coach Dick Tighe and his Lynx...that's all you had to say. A god in his own time to many. Big farm boys who basically beat up little farm boys. Really...beating up the likes of the Eagle Grove Eagles. They couldn't even come up with a different mascot name than that of the town. And Clear Lake...ugh...they never won anything but always wanted everyone to know they lived by a lake.
Christmas formal I believe had as its theme "Crystal Blue Persuasion." I tracked down Tommy James and the Shondels on You Tube the other day still singing that song in a New York club and believe it or not sounding really good. Let's see what Justin Bieber sounds like in forty years!
Webster City was a vibrant town back then. Main street was the main street in town. There were clothing stores to drug stores, hardware stores. pet stores, real full-service gas stations, and even a few fast food places. ("Fast" is a relative term in a Midwest farm town). The washing machine/dryer factory in town employed hundreds if not thousands of people. Shoot I even put in my stint there one summer. That's another story.
Then comes the 40th reunion of the Webster City Lynx. Funny thing...in some ways 40 years changes everything and in some ways nothing. First, the reunion was held at the Country Club. I was never in the country club until my 35th reunion and now my fortieth. I learned early on that I lived literally on the other side of the railroad tracks. People from that part of town weren't country club people. My side of town was referred to as "Shoe Town." I never knew that years and years ago there actually was a shoe factory. History says it burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances...but its ghost lived on in the people of the east side. Kids who went to my elementary school, Hilltop, were looked upon as a lower class. Imagine that in a town of 8,000 people.
Time has changed Webster City. The executives of Electrolux who ran the local factory made a less then brilliant decision to move t Juarez, Mexico known as the Murder Capital of the world. Along with that brain-dead decision went the lives of thousands of American workers and their families. As you drive around town now you can hear, "Dead city walking'.
I imagine it won't be long that our beloved high school will suffer the same fate and will in the near future consolidate with one or more schools just to survive. No more Purple and Gold.
I went to visit my elementary school Hilltop. Its been empty for years now and one local resident told me it will be tore down in the near future. I had the opportunity to walk through it. I'm not even sure rodents wanted to be in it.
And then there was the actual reunion itself. Reunions are strange. What doesn't change is that the people who hung out together in high school still gravitate to each other. Most live in other cities if not other states. But throw everyone into a reunion setting and like magic everyone moves into their old cliques. Humans are fascinating creatures. I admit there were some people I wanted to see and others...well...let's just say I couldn't get to everyone. That hadn't changed in forty years. Does the name Al Bundy from "Married with Children" ring a bell?
You get old in forty years. I quick glance and I thought I was in the local nursing home. People who were bald, slightly overweight, and talking about their grandchildren and retiring...nursing home fodder right?
Sadly in 40 years over 20 classmates have passed on and will be missed. For a class of 220 that's quite a few so soon.
So what's changed in forty years...not much...a lot...both. The only constant is change. As I left the reunion many were already talking about the 45th reunion. Time will tell. But for now Happy 40th to the Purple and Gold of Webster City, Iowa.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
"Did You Ever Stop to Think...
...and forget to start again?"
"Well," said Pooh. "what I like best--" and then he had to stop and think. Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than you were, but he didn't know what it was called."
Winnie the Pooh always seemed to be a good bear. Pretty upbeat. So I'll share some of his happiness tips that each of us can use.
Don't Get Bogged Down in Details.
"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't it everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count."
Getting bogged down in details, focusing on small problems can have advantages. But it can also make you miss the big picture. What really important in life? Don't make the mistake of spending too much time nitpicking or making mountains out of molehills. Relax instead. Focus on positive things you have and want in your life. The days may seem long but the years are often pretty short!
Be Proactive. Take the Lead.
"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
It's easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what people around you do. You react to whatever is going on.
A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. This feels better and provides better results. But on the other hand it's also more difficult. You have to get out of your comfort zone and that can be scary....yet worth it.
Keep conversations positive and simple.
"It's more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "what about lunch?"
What do people want in a conversation and relationship of all kinds?
Long winded negative babbling? Or positive talk that is focused and interesting?
Three tips that help me keep the conversation positive and focused are:
*Live a positive life. If you focus on the positive in your daily life then it's usually no problem to keep focusing on it and talking about it in conversations.
*Be aware and be alert.
If you know you have a problem with negative conversations be aware of that fact before you go off on a rant.
*Focus on other people.
If you focus too much on yourself then it's easy to get lost in your own thoughts and words and forget that you are having a conversation. As if you enjoy listening more to yourself than having a two-way conversation.
Appreciate the little things.
"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."
Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when having some great luck then you are making life harder than it needs to be. Instead, focus on appreciating things you may take for granted.
Thanks Pooh Bear
"Well," said Pooh. "what I like best--" and then he had to stop and think. Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than you were, but he didn't know what it was called."
Winnie the Pooh always seemed to be a good bear. Pretty upbeat. So I'll share some of his happiness tips that each of us can use.
Don't Get Bogged Down in Details.
"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't it everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count."
Getting bogged down in details, focusing on small problems can have advantages. But it can also make you miss the big picture. What really important in life? Don't make the mistake of spending too much time nitpicking or making mountains out of molehills. Relax instead. Focus on positive things you have and want in your life. The days may seem long but the years are often pretty short!
Be Proactive. Take the Lead.
"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
It's easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what people around you do. You react to whatever is going on.
A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. This feels better and provides better results. But on the other hand it's also more difficult. You have to get out of your comfort zone and that can be scary....yet worth it.
Keep conversations positive and simple.
"It's more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "what about lunch?"
What do people want in a conversation and relationship of all kinds?
Long winded negative babbling? Or positive talk that is focused and interesting?
Three tips that help me keep the conversation positive and focused are:
*Live a positive life. If you focus on the positive in your daily life then it's usually no problem to keep focusing on it and talking about it in conversations.
*Be aware and be alert.
If you know you have a problem with negative conversations be aware of that fact before you go off on a rant.
*Focus on other people.
If you focus too much on yourself then it's easy to get lost in your own thoughts and words and forget that you are having a conversation. As if you enjoy listening more to yourself than having a two-way conversation.
Appreciate the little things.
"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."
Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when having some great luck then you are making life harder than it needs to be. Instead, focus on appreciating things you may take for granted.
Thanks Pooh Bear
Friday, July 15, 2011
12 Ways to Live Your Life
It seems that everything comes in a list format nowadays. "Wash, Rinse and Repeat." Or "Open box, Remove Contents, Assemble." Maybe its because when we see things in a list format our brain interprets them as a set of directions - rules that must be followed.
The proliferation of articles about happiness as of late has been astonishing. Everybody is coming up with the magic formula for finding happiness. I don't know about you, but I nee to keep things simple and in perspective at all times.
Wouldn't it be great if there were a simple set of instructions for living a happy and fulfilled life? How about an instruction manual for life? Something along the lines of "Enjoy childhood, Explore young adulthood, Engage in a rewarding career, and Enjoy life."
Unfortunately, things are not that easy. That doesn't mean there aren't techniques and tips you can use in your everyday life that can help you find happiness and fulfillment as you go through the journey of life. Here's how:
1. Keep it simple. Don't clutter your life with unnecessary decisions by making everything complicated and complex.
2. Practice being satisfied. Many people don't know how to satisfied with what life gives them.
3. Beware of indecision. Nobody said life was easy and sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. Successful people didn't get where they are by prolonging or going back and forth on decisions.
4. Practice cheerfulness. A simple smile or kind word can spread through our culture like wildfire - not only will you feel better, but those who interact with you will too.
5. Learn to love people. You don't have to like them but you can learn to love them beyond the blemishes.
6. Live and let live. Learn to live your life to the fullest and let others live live to the fullest. None of us is above anyone else.
7. Adversity teaches. Adversity often comes dressed in many different outfits, but you will change your life by learning how to deal with it and prosper from it.
8. Don't take yourself too seriously. Here's a secret...it's OK to be alittle goofy every now and then.
9. Have a sense of humor. Laughter has been shown to help people live longer, reduce their blood pressure, and help them relate to people from all corners of life.
10. Practice objectivity. Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid bias influence on your decisions.
11. Tolerate your own mistakes. Learn that mistakes happen and the best thing you can is to learn from them.
12. Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over the things that happened in the past - things you did or didn't do, and mistakes you may have made with others.
Life happens....be a part of it.
The proliferation of articles about happiness as of late has been astonishing. Everybody is coming up with the magic formula for finding happiness. I don't know about you, but I nee to keep things simple and in perspective at all times.
Wouldn't it be great if there were a simple set of instructions for living a happy and fulfilled life? How about an instruction manual for life? Something along the lines of "Enjoy childhood, Explore young adulthood, Engage in a rewarding career, and Enjoy life."
Unfortunately, things are not that easy. That doesn't mean there aren't techniques and tips you can use in your everyday life that can help you find happiness and fulfillment as you go through the journey of life. Here's how:
1. Keep it simple. Don't clutter your life with unnecessary decisions by making everything complicated and complex.
2. Practice being satisfied. Many people don't know how to satisfied with what life gives them.
3. Beware of indecision. Nobody said life was easy and sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. Successful people didn't get where they are by prolonging or going back and forth on decisions.
4. Practice cheerfulness. A simple smile or kind word can spread through our culture like wildfire - not only will you feel better, but those who interact with you will too.
5. Learn to love people. You don't have to like them but you can learn to love them beyond the blemishes.
6. Live and let live. Learn to live your life to the fullest and let others live live to the fullest. None of us is above anyone else.
7. Adversity teaches. Adversity often comes dressed in many different outfits, but you will change your life by learning how to deal with it and prosper from it.
8. Don't take yourself too seriously. Here's a secret...it's OK to be alittle goofy every now and then.
9. Have a sense of humor. Laughter has been shown to help people live longer, reduce their blood pressure, and help them relate to people from all corners of life.
10. Practice objectivity. Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid bias influence on your decisions.
11. Tolerate your own mistakes. Learn that mistakes happen and the best thing you can is to learn from them.
12. Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over the things that happened in the past - things you did or didn't do, and mistakes you may have made with others.
Life happens....be a part of it.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Ant Philosophy
I think everybody should study ants. They have ab amazing four-part philosophy. Here is the first part:
Ants never quit
That's a good philosophy. If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they'll look for another way. They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy, to never quit looking for a way to get where you're suppose to go.
Second...Ants think winter all summer.
That's an important perspective. You can't be so naive to think that summer will last forever. So ants are gathering their winter food in the middle of summer.
The third part of the any philosophy is that ants think summer all winter.
That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, "This won't last long---we'll soon be out f here." And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the next warm day. They can't wait to get out.
And here's the last part of the ant philosophy.
How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for winter? All he possibly can! What an incredible philosophy, the "all-you-can-philosophy".
Ants never quit
That's a good philosophy. If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they'll look for another way. They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy, to never quit looking for a way to get where you're suppose to go.
Second...Ants think winter all summer.
That's an important perspective. You can't be so naive to think that summer will last forever. So ants are gathering their winter food in the middle of summer.
The third part of the any philosophy is that ants think summer all winter.
That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, "This won't last long---we'll soon be out f here." And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the next warm day. They can't wait to get out.
And here's the last part of the ant philosophy.
How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for winter? All he possibly can! What an incredible philosophy, the "all-you-can-philosophy".
WOW what a great philosophy to have...the ant philosophy.
Never give up....look ahead...stay positive...and do all you can.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Seven Keys to a Joyful Life
Everybody wants to experience some joy in their lives, especially during the times we find ourselves living in.
Here are seven proactive steps you can implement in your life to feel and experience joy.
1) Know your purpose. Nothing will bring you joy more than knowing what it is that you are about on this earth. Not knowing bring s sadness, fear, indecision, and lack of fulfillment. Above all, find out what your unique purpose is here on this earth - then fulfill it! As you do, you will experience joy.
2) Live purposefully. This is a follow-up to number one. It is one thing to know your purpose, but then you need to live according to that purpose. This is a matter of priorities. Let your actions and schedule reflect your purpose. Don't react to circumstances and let them cause you to live without purpose fully in sight. Living without purpose will cause frustration. Living purposefully will bring you deep satisfaction and joy.
3) Stretch yourself. Don't settle in the status quo. That will leave you unfulfilled. Always look to stretch yourself. Whatever you are doing, stretch yourself to do more. Stretching yourself will break the limits you have set for yourself and will cause you to find joy in your expanded horizons.
4) Give more than you take. It brings happiness to accumulate. It brings joy to give away. Sure, getting the car you've worked hard for will bring a sense of satisfaction and even happiness. But it won't bring you joy. Giving something away to the less fortunate will bring you deep, abiding joy.
5) Surprise yourself and others too. The words here are spontaneity and surprise! Every once in awhile do the unexpected. It will cause everybody to sit back and say, "Wow, where did that come from?" It will put alittle joy in your life and theirs.
6) Indulge yourself sometimes. Too much indulgence and you are caught in the happiness trap. Looking for the next purchase, celebration, etc., to bring you a little "happiness high". But if you allow yourself an infrequent indulgence as a reward for a job well done and a life well lived, you will appreciate the indulgence and experience the joy.
7) Laugh a little...no laugh a lot! Most people are just too serious. We need to laugh a little, no, a lot. Learn to laugh daily, even if you have to learn to laugh in bad situations. This life is to be enjoyed. The next time you get a movie, get a comedy and let loose. Let yourself laugh.
Joy can be yours. Look for it, pursue it and enjoy it!
Here are seven proactive steps you can implement in your life to feel and experience joy.
1) Know your purpose. Nothing will bring you joy more than knowing what it is that you are about on this earth. Not knowing bring s sadness, fear, indecision, and lack of fulfillment. Above all, find out what your unique purpose is here on this earth - then fulfill it! As you do, you will experience joy.
2) Live purposefully. This is a follow-up to number one. It is one thing to know your purpose, but then you need to live according to that purpose. This is a matter of priorities. Let your actions and schedule reflect your purpose. Don't react to circumstances and let them cause you to live without purpose fully in sight. Living without purpose will cause frustration. Living purposefully will bring you deep satisfaction and joy.
3) Stretch yourself. Don't settle in the status quo. That will leave you unfulfilled. Always look to stretch yourself. Whatever you are doing, stretch yourself to do more. Stretching yourself will break the limits you have set for yourself and will cause you to find joy in your expanded horizons.
4) Give more than you take. It brings happiness to accumulate. It brings joy to give away. Sure, getting the car you've worked hard for will bring a sense of satisfaction and even happiness. But it won't bring you joy. Giving something away to the less fortunate will bring you deep, abiding joy.
5) Surprise yourself and others too. The words here are spontaneity and surprise! Every once in awhile do the unexpected. It will cause everybody to sit back and say, "Wow, where did that come from?" It will put alittle joy in your life and theirs.
6) Indulge yourself sometimes. Too much indulgence and you are caught in the happiness trap. Looking for the next purchase, celebration, etc., to bring you a little "happiness high". But if you allow yourself an infrequent indulgence as a reward for a job well done and a life well lived, you will appreciate the indulgence and experience the joy.
7) Laugh a little...no laugh a lot! Most people are just too serious. We need to laugh a little, no, a lot. Learn to laugh daily, even if you have to learn to laugh in bad situations. This life is to be enjoyed. The next time you get a movie, get a comedy and let loose. Let yourself laugh.
Joy can be yours. Look for it, pursue it and enjoy it!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
"Hey Keynote Speaker...Try Motivating Me!"
Ever since I was a Sophomore in college I've been speaking to people. All kinds of people in all kinds of circumstances. From gravesides to corporate board rooms. And through those years I've spoken on more topics than I could have ever imagined.
So when someone calls LifeWorks and wants to book me for an event this topic comes up more than any other.
I'll chat with the organizer, get some background information, and then I get to the point where I ask, "and what topic did you want me to speak on for your group?"
Often times there will be a pause and the organizer will say in a somewhat somber voice, "We need you to come and motivate us. We really need you to light a fire under us."
Now having been in sports many years of my life, I've heard my fair share of great motivational speeches from exceptional coaches. Great speeches that were sometimes well-thought out in advance or very spontaneous. Our teams would be so fired up we would run through a wall and then go out and...well let's just say our talent didn't match the wonder of our coach's wit and intelligence. I can't ever remember coming to the bench during a basketball game when we were getting whipped and asking Coach Brown during a sixty second timeout to "motivate me." That usually happened at the next day's practice!
Trust me, we all need someone to pick up our spirits and give us hope throughout life. As someone once said, "life happens".
We hate our job, our marriage isn't what it out to be, the kids are driving us nuts, the business isn't doing well, bills, poor health, lack of fulfillment, little happiness, and the list goes on. Life!
Now a motivational speaker can come in and light the match to fire us up but many times it flames out after only a couple of days. Why? Simple...one little match on its own won't burn down the forest.
On the other hand, an outstanding motivational speaker brings not only the match but the fuel to keep the fire burning even in life's downpours. So with that said, here are some motivational tips to start the fire and keep in burning.
*Face your fears: Often fear can cripple your energy and stop you feeling motivated. You will feel more motivated than ever once you face your fears and put them in the past.
*Read about people who've achieved what you want to achieve. There's nothing more powerful than knowing someone else who has done what you want to accomplish. I love to do adventure runs. They're more than challenging for me, My inspiration is reading the life story of Jim McLaren. He was a terrific athlete but more importantly an incredible man. When I think about giving up on a run, or for that fact any challenge in life, I read about Jim McLaren.
Reframe your current challenges. Often when we face hurdles we feel defeated and want to give in. If you remind yourself at these times that every meaningful success involves challenges, then you will suddenly see that your current challenge is in fact a sign of progress.
Always finish what you start. If you make this a rule that you follow religiously, then any loss of motivation is put in the background. What you focus on is the fact that you need to finish whatever it is you're doing.
Take risks. When you're taking risks, playing the game of life, you feel invigorated and energized. Usually a loss of motivation is associated with moving to the sidelines. Get back up and back into the game. Keep playing and your motivation will return.
And finally, the most important of all the self-motivation tips: Always go for your big, pie-in-the-sky dreams. If you don't you might find life feels hollow and empty. As Abraham Maslow said,
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
So when someone calls LifeWorks and wants to book me for an event this topic comes up more than any other.
I'll chat with the organizer, get some background information, and then I get to the point where I ask, "and what topic did you want me to speak on for your group?"
Often times there will be a pause and the organizer will say in a somewhat somber voice, "We need you to come and motivate us. We really need you to light a fire under us."
Now having been in sports many years of my life, I've heard my fair share of great motivational speeches from exceptional coaches. Great speeches that were sometimes well-thought out in advance or very spontaneous. Our teams would be so fired up we would run through a wall and then go out and...well let's just say our talent didn't match the wonder of our coach's wit and intelligence. I can't ever remember coming to the bench during a basketball game when we were getting whipped and asking Coach Brown during a sixty second timeout to "motivate me." That usually happened at the next day's practice!
Trust me, we all need someone to pick up our spirits and give us hope throughout life. As someone once said, "life happens".
We hate our job, our marriage isn't what it out to be, the kids are driving us nuts, the business isn't doing well, bills, poor health, lack of fulfillment, little happiness, and the list goes on. Life!
Now a motivational speaker can come in and light the match to fire us up but many times it flames out after only a couple of days. Why? Simple...one little match on its own won't burn down the forest.
On the other hand, an outstanding motivational speaker brings not only the match but the fuel to keep the fire burning even in life's downpours. So with that said, here are some motivational tips to start the fire and keep in burning.
*Face your fears: Often fear can cripple your energy and stop you feeling motivated. You will feel more motivated than ever once you face your fears and put them in the past.
*Read about people who've achieved what you want to achieve. There's nothing more powerful than knowing someone else who has done what you want to accomplish. I love to do adventure runs. They're more than challenging for me, My inspiration is reading the life story of Jim McLaren. He was a terrific athlete but more importantly an incredible man. When I think about giving up on a run, or for that fact any challenge in life, I read about Jim McLaren.
Reframe your current challenges. Often when we face hurdles we feel defeated and want to give in. If you remind yourself at these times that every meaningful success involves challenges, then you will suddenly see that your current challenge is in fact a sign of progress.
Always finish what you start. If you make this a rule that you follow religiously, then any loss of motivation is put in the background. What you focus on is the fact that you need to finish whatever it is you're doing.
Take risks. When you're taking risks, playing the game of life, you feel invigorated and energized. Usually a loss of motivation is associated with moving to the sidelines. Get back up and back into the game. Keep playing and your motivation will return.
And finally, the most important of all the self-motivation tips: Always go for your big, pie-in-the-sky dreams. If you don't you might find life feels hollow and empty. As Abraham Maslow said,
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
Saturday, June 4, 2011
How To Build a Positive Attitude-
Have you noticed when you go to a Borders, a Barnes & Noble, or any bookstore that there will be a whole section dedicated to the Self-Help category?
When people, businesses, churches, civic groups call me about doing a presentation almost every time the need is, "come in and motivate us...energize us." If you've ever been a public speaker that's a daunting task! You show up at an event, you're introduced, followed by polite applause, and there they are...a group of people you've been asked to fire up. From an outside appearance they remind me of an old saying my grandmother used..."death warmed over".
Having been a basketball coach in my lifetime, I know how to give that pre-game speech that motivates a team, gets the adrenalin flowing, and has the team looking for a wall to run through. Trouble is two hours later, win or lose, that booster shot has worn off.
So I've come to believe and teach groups I speak to that its important to learn to build a positive attitude that will serve them day to day. There are no Five-Hour energy drinks for motivation. It comes by building a positive attitude that will serve you day in and day out.
So here are the steps you can use to build a positive attitude and will show greater returns with your everyday motivation for living your life.
1. Forgive The basic element towards building a positive attitude is to learn to forgive. This action is more for your own good rather than anybody elses. Remember, if you hold a grudge against someone, it hardly bothers that person...it will just harm you.
2. Substitute Negative Thoughts Force yourself in the beginning to think positive about anything that you thought negative about. Do not worry about how the positive thought will actually become a reality.
3. Be Kind to Yourself In the world around us, there are many things which cause us anxiety, tension and make us worry. We should not make ourselves the reason of our anxiety.
4. Think About The Worse That Could Happen Negative thoughts have already done this for us. Remember the worst thing that could happen, realize the feeling to fail and then overcome it. Do everything in your power to make sure that it does not become a reality.
5. Look at Things From a Third Person Point of View This is the most important step. Try looking from a third person point of view. OR try to look at the problem as if it was someone else's. Most of the times you will realize that the problem is not as big as it seems.
6. Perspective Try to think of the people who have had much bigger problems. There are many people in this world who do not get to choose a good life for themselves. The very fact that you are reading this blog on a computer places you far above many other people on this planet.
"Believe you can, and you can. Belief is one of the most powerful of all problem dissolvers. When you believe that a difficulty can be overcome, you are more than halfway to victory over it already." Norman Vincent Peale
"Start treating yourself as if you're the most important asset you'll ever have. After all, aren't you?"
"Every individual human being born on this earth has the capacity to become a unique and special person, unlike any who has ever existed before or will ever exist again."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
When people, businesses, churches, civic groups call me about doing a presentation almost every time the need is, "come in and motivate us...energize us." If you've ever been a public speaker that's a daunting task! You show up at an event, you're introduced, followed by polite applause, and there they are...a group of people you've been asked to fire up. From an outside appearance they remind me of an old saying my grandmother used..."death warmed over".
Having been a basketball coach in my lifetime, I know how to give that pre-game speech that motivates a team, gets the adrenalin flowing, and has the team looking for a wall to run through. Trouble is two hours later, win or lose, that booster shot has worn off.
So I've come to believe and teach groups I speak to that its important to learn to build a positive attitude that will serve them day to day. There are no Five-Hour energy drinks for motivation. It comes by building a positive attitude that will serve you day in and day out.
So here are the steps you can use to build a positive attitude and will show greater returns with your everyday motivation for living your life.
1. Forgive The basic element towards building a positive attitude is to learn to forgive. This action is more for your own good rather than anybody elses. Remember, if you hold a grudge against someone, it hardly bothers that person...it will just harm you.
2. Substitute Negative Thoughts Force yourself in the beginning to think positive about anything that you thought negative about. Do not worry about how the positive thought will actually become a reality.
3. Be Kind to Yourself In the world around us, there are many things which cause us anxiety, tension and make us worry. We should not make ourselves the reason of our anxiety.
4. Think About The Worse That Could Happen Negative thoughts have already done this for us. Remember the worst thing that could happen, realize the feeling to fail and then overcome it. Do everything in your power to make sure that it does not become a reality.
5. Look at Things From a Third Person Point of View This is the most important step. Try looking from a third person point of view. OR try to look at the problem as if it was someone else's. Most of the times you will realize that the problem is not as big as it seems.
6. Perspective Try to think of the people who have had much bigger problems. There are many people in this world who do not get to choose a good life for themselves. The very fact that you are reading this blog on a computer places you far above many other people on this planet.
"Believe you can, and you can. Belief is one of the most powerful of all problem dissolvers. When you believe that a difficulty can be overcome, you are more than halfway to victory over it already." Norman Vincent Peale
"Start treating yourself as if you're the most important asset you'll ever have. After all, aren't you?"
"Every individual human being born on this earth has the capacity to become a unique and special person, unlike any who has ever existed before or will ever exist again."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Monday, May 16, 2011
Silly as a Goose!
When my son John was little I would get him to giggle when I told him he was "silly as a goose." Boy was I off the mark. Although it was fun to get John to laugh, it turns out that geese are anything but silly. Matter of fact geese are one of the greatest examples of encouragement and teamwork on the planet.
When you see Canadian geese flying along in a "V" formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way.
As each bird lifts it wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following.
By flying in the "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone, and quickly gets back in formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are.
When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.
It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people of for the geese who are flying south for the winter.
Geese "honk" from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
What messages do we give when we "honk" from behind?
Finally...and this is important...when a goose gets sick or is wounded and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do the launch out on their own, or with another flock to catch up with their group.
If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.
Silly...actually its quite a lesson for all of us, whether in our personal or professional lives.
When you see Canadian geese flying along in a "V" formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way.
As each bird lifts it wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following.
By flying in the "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone, and quickly gets back in formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are.
When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.
It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people of for the geese who are flying south for the winter.
Geese "honk" from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
What messages do we give when we "honk" from behind?
Finally...and this is important...when a goose gets sick or is wounded and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do the launch out on their own, or with another flock to catch up with their group.
If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.
Silly...actually its quite a lesson for all of us, whether in our personal or professional lives.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Say What???
OK I need some help with this one.
There are two billboards about two blocks apart near where I live. I pass these billboards almost everyday. Does anyone else other then myself see the irony and wonder who to believe?
Billboard One has a big picture of Warren Buffett. And there's a quote from Buffett that reads: "Always invest in the long-term." So apparently this is wise, sage advice from the Oracle of Omaha.
Billboard Two has in bold, large letters: "Judgement Day, May 21, 2011." According to my calendar I have less than a month to get packed. It goes on to tell everyone they better hurry up and get right with God because the end is near. (Personal Note: I've never figured out that if you believe in God and heaven why this is such a bad thing that you have to WARN people).
Maybe this is why so many people are confused these days. They are on information overload and really don't know what path to take and so they stay stuck in the middle.
There are two billboards about two blocks apart near where I live. I pass these billboards almost everyday. Does anyone else other then myself see the irony and wonder who to believe?
Billboard One has a big picture of Warren Buffett. And there's a quote from Buffett that reads: "Always invest in the long-term." So apparently this is wise, sage advice from the Oracle of Omaha.
Billboard Two has in bold, large letters: "Judgement Day, May 21, 2011." According to my calendar I have less than a month to get packed. It goes on to tell everyone they better hurry up and get right with God because the end is near. (Personal Note: I've never figured out that if you believe in God and heaven why this is such a bad thing that you have to WARN people).
Maybe this is why so many people are confused these days. They are on information overload and really don't know what path to take and so they stay stuck in the middle.
On the Trail of Success-What an Adventure!
As many of you know I'm an adventure runner. Mountains, rivers, mud, bogs, rock slides, big changes in temperatures, wild animals are all a part of any adventure run. Learning to adapt "on the run" is critical. For some runners, lack of being able to adapt to the conditions determines if they make the finish line.
Along each route of any adventure run, course directors will instruct runners to look for markers at given distances to make sure they're on course. Miss a marker and you could be in a bunch of trouble and get really lost. Then you do your best to back track and you lose precious time.
Being successful in life and staying on course is much like an adventure run. You need to keep your head up to see what's coming so you won't be surprised and will know in advance how to handle any obstacle that might stand in your way.
Remember those course markers I mentioned that you look for in a run? Sometimes they are little red flags stuck in the ground. Other times they will be little ribbons tied on tree branches. Whatever shape they take you know they are out there and as a runner its your responsibility to see and follow them. Doing your own thing in an environment your not familiar with is not encouraged.
Seems like that's the course many people today are taking in their lives, occupation, relationships. They are just kinda 'winging it' and then they wonder why they're not moving towards their goals in life. Of course, I'm assuming they have goals and that's another topic all together!
So here are the 'course flags' one needs to look for in completing the course set before them.
Marker 1 Work on Your Attitude; Having a good attitude in the single most important key to success in anything. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Marker 2 Believe in Yourself. Others see you as you see yourself. When you believe in yourself and confidently express your unique "I" in the world, success is virtually guaranteed. When you believe in what you do and it's a reflection of 'who you are' inside, you become a magnet to exciting opportunities.
Marker 3 Commit to Being the Best at What You Do. The most successful among us do what others can't or won't do. You have to commit to yourself. That takes strength and determination.
Marker 4 Sacrifice Time, Money, and Instant Gratification, but Never Sacrifice Your Self-respect. In order to be successful, you have to make tough choices that will go against your desires in order to focus on your values. You will always forego short-term gratification for long-term gains.
Marker 5 Persevere. You Gotta Keep Going. Success comes to the last person standing. Most people never become successful because they simply didn't try hard enough. Whatever you do, you can't give up!
Now go out and run your life's course knowing that the markers are out there to guide you to the finish line and that great feeling of accomplishment!
Along each route of any adventure run, course directors will instruct runners to look for markers at given distances to make sure they're on course. Miss a marker and you could be in a bunch of trouble and get really lost. Then you do your best to back track and you lose precious time.
Being successful in life and staying on course is much like an adventure run. You need to keep your head up to see what's coming so you won't be surprised and will know in advance how to handle any obstacle that might stand in your way.
Remember those course markers I mentioned that you look for in a run? Sometimes they are little red flags stuck in the ground. Other times they will be little ribbons tied on tree branches. Whatever shape they take you know they are out there and as a runner its your responsibility to see and follow them. Doing your own thing in an environment your not familiar with is not encouraged.
Seems like that's the course many people today are taking in their lives, occupation, relationships. They are just kinda 'winging it' and then they wonder why they're not moving towards their goals in life. Of course, I'm assuming they have goals and that's another topic all together!
So here are the 'course flags' one needs to look for in completing the course set before them.
Marker 1 Work on Your Attitude; Having a good attitude in the single most important key to success in anything. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Marker 2 Believe in Yourself. Others see you as you see yourself. When you believe in yourself and confidently express your unique "I" in the world, success is virtually guaranteed. When you believe in what you do and it's a reflection of 'who you are' inside, you become a magnet to exciting opportunities.
Marker 3 Commit to Being the Best at What You Do. The most successful among us do what others can't or won't do. You have to commit to yourself. That takes strength and determination.
Marker 4 Sacrifice Time, Money, and Instant Gratification, but Never Sacrifice Your Self-respect. In order to be successful, you have to make tough choices that will go against your desires in order to focus on your values. You will always forego short-term gratification for long-term gains.
Marker 5 Persevere. You Gotta Keep Going. Success comes to the last person standing. Most people never become successful because they simply didn't try hard enough. Whatever you do, you can't give up!
Now go out and run your life's course knowing that the markers are out there to guide you to the finish line and that great feeling of accomplishment!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Living Outside Your Comfort Zone
As we explore and expand our boundaries, here are some thoughts regrading comfort zones - and how to get outside of them.
1) Acknowledge Your Fears
At the root of all hesitation to change is fear. Fears are natural. They are also rooted in basic physical and emotional needs. Acknowledge and understand your fears one by one before taking steps to address them...don't tackle them all at once.
If you don't acknowledge your fears it will be difficult to recognize and characterize your success once you've overcome them.
2) Check Routines - Chuck Some
There's value in routine. But like anything valuable, routines ought to be subject to evaluation. Sometimes our routines can turn into ruts. At that point, it's time to actively consider your routines and whether or not they need to be swapped for something different.
3) Expand Your Boundaries of Comfort
Expand your collection of life experiences with which you're comfortable. What may have been uncomfortable yesterday is comfortable today.
4) Don't Play Trading Places
Don't wish that you had someone else's life. Find out what it is that admire and value in that person's life. Focus on one aspect and try to be that in yours. Let your choices and actions reflect your values. In other words: LIVE DELIBERATELY.
5) Think: What's the Worse That Could Happen?
If you are staring down a fear and you know the risk you need to face it, ask yourself: "What's the worse thing that can happen"? When you consider the worse case scenario, you may just realize that the consequences of failure aren't that bad.
When considering our life choices, one friend recently asked me, "But really, what do you have to lose?"
Good Question!
1) Acknowledge Your Fears
At the root of all hesitation to change is fear. Fears are natural. They are also rooted in basic physical and emotional needs. Acknowledge and understand your fears one by one before taking steps to address them...don't tackle them all at once.
If you don't acknowledge your fears it will be difficult to recognize and characterize your success once you've overcome them.
2) Check Routines - Chuck Some
There's value in routine. But like anything valuable, routines ought to be subject to evaluation. Sometimes our routines can turn into ruts. At that point, it's time to actively consider your routines and whether or not they need to be swapped for something different.
3) Expand Your Boundaries of Comfort
Expand your collection of life experiences with which you're comfortable. What may have been uncomfortable yesterday is comfortable today.
4) Don't Play Trading Places
Don't wish that you had someone else's life. Find out what it is that admire and value in that person's life. Focus on one aspect and try to be that in yours. Let your choices and actions reflect your values. In other words: LIVE DELIBERATELY.
5) Think: What's the Worse That Could Happen?
If you are staring down a fear and you know the risk you need to face it, ask yourself: "What's the worse thing that can happen"? When you consider the worse case scenario, you may just realize that the consequences of failure aren't that bad.
When considering our life choices, one friend recently asked me, "But really, what do you have to lose?"
Good Question!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Whose Life Is It Anyway?
I was watching a TV show the other night about this church and its youth pastor I think in Washington State. It had the usual story line...nice, energetic, enthusiastic pastor with a bubbly, cute, outgoing wife. The congregation loves this couple. And then as my grandma would say when she got fired up about something
(and my Grandma never swore) this church went to "hell in a hand basket." Literally. I'm not here in this blog addition of LifeWorks to argue theology, who God is, and what He tells us to do. I have my own convictions about those things as I'm sure you do.
In this true story, I am amazed, but not surprised at what occurs with this church. The youth minister's wife ends up dying in a house fire while her minister husband got up early, turned on the space heater for his wife (hint hint) and goes duck hunting. This guy is a slug. To make a long story short he does the following with members of his own flock:
*He and the church secretary end up having one really weird relationship because God is "talking" to her! She shares her revelations with the youth minister. One being that his wife will die. And then the two of them..well..you know.
*The youth minister convinces a married woman in the congregation to meet him at a local hotel for an ongoing sexual encounter. (Three weeks after his wife's death). The purpose: To strengthen her 'trust' in God and show it. uh..OK She goes along with this line of baloney. She and her still husband have been in counseling now for years!
*Hold on for this one. He has a sexual relationship with his now former mother-in-law after the death of her daughter, once the youth minister's wife! Her reasoning and I use that word loosely, "to help fill a void in my life and his." ICK!
*The minister has "closed door counseling sessions" with other women, who it should be noted, believe in this guy and do as they are told. All after the tragic death of his wife.
You get the picture right? Those of us who watch these goofballs always end up asking, "How could they fall for this?" "What were they thinking?" Honestly you watch these people who were educated, professionals, married, parents, "yadda yadda "as Seinfeld would say. They look normal, talk normal, dress normal.
So why do people demonstrate such poor behavior? Why do they commit such stupid acts? Why do they make such mind numbing choices? It's not that hard to figure out.
1. Trust. "To place confidence in somebody or in somebody's good qualities, especially fairness, truth, honor or ability. The position of somebody who is expected by others to behave responsibly or honorably."
It was obvious in this story that the assumed trust that this congregation had in its minister was being exploited. Yep...in his devious mind, the minister was taking advantage of these good people. But then so did Bernie Madoff. He made billions on his client's trust in him. But you see in both cases it was 'blind trust'. People don't ask questions and thus you have 'blind trust'.
Nowhere should anyone be so naive as to be blind to someone abusing and being deceitful for their own gain.
Any person put in a place of trust will welcome questions by others. Its those who double-talk and avoid questions we should fear. It's an automatic red flag!
2. Accountable. Responsible to somebody or to something.
You are accountable for you. You have to live with yourself and the decisions you make. Investigate don't assume. Don't play the blame game when you didn't look deeper. Often times assuming shows a real lack of effort on your part. You think, "ah come on why wouldn't this person tell me the truth?" SNAP...the trap has been tripped and you've been caught.
The bottom line is no matter who you listen to or choose to follow in your life, it's up to you to find the truth. If you don't the consequences you may experience are all on you. You are accountable for you!
Oh and the youth minister...God called him to prison until 2025.
In my next blog I'll give you a plan on how to keep you're life in balance and moving forward. It's about choices...your choices for the life you're living. Trust me.
(and my Grandma never swore) this church went to "hell in a hand basket." Literally. I'm not here in this blog addition of LifeWorks to argue theology, who God is, and what He tells us to do. I have my own convictions about those things as I'm sure you do.
In this true story, I am amazed, but not surprised at what occurs with this church. The youth minister's wife ends up dying in a house fire while her minister husband got up early, turned on the space heater for his wife (hint hint) and goes duck hunting. This guy is a slug. To make a long story short he does the following with members of his own flock:
*He and the church secretary end up having one really weird relationship because God is "talking" to her! She shares her revelations with the youth minister. One being that his wife will die. And then the two of them..well..you know.
*The youth minister convinces a married woman in the congregation to meet him at a local hotel for an ongoing sexual encounter. (Three weeks after his wife's death). The purpose: To strengthen her 'trust' in God and show it. uh..OK She goes along with this line of baloney. She and her still husband have been in counseling now for years!
*Hold on for this one. He has a sexual relationship with his now former mother-in-law after the death of her daughter, once the youth minister's wife! Her reasoning and I use that word loosely, "to help fill a void in my life and his." ICK!
*The minister has "closed door counseling sessions" with other women, who it should be noted, believe in this guy and do as they are told. All after the tragic death of his wife.
You get the picture right? Those of us who watch these goofballs always end up asking, "How could they fall for this?" "What were they thinking?" Honestly you watch these people who were educated, professionals, married, parents, "yadda yadda "as Seinfeld would say. They look normal, talk normal, dress normal.
So why do people demonstrate such poor behavior? Why do they commit such stupid acts? Why do they make such mind numbing choices? It's not that hard to figure out.
1. Trust. "To place confidence in somebody or in somebody's good qualities, especially fairness, truth, honor or ability. The position of somebody who is expected by others to behave responsibly or honorably."
It was obvious in this story that the assumed trust that this congregation had in its minister was being exploited. Yep...in his devious mind, the minister was taking advantage of these good people. But then so did Bernie Madoff. He made billions on his client's trust in him. But you see in both cases it was 'blind trust'. People don't ask questions and thus you have 'blind trust'.
Nowhere should anyone be so naive as to be blind to someone abusing and being deceitful for their own gain.
Any person put in a place of trust will welcome questions by others. Its those who double-talk and avoid questions we should fear. It's an automatic red flag!
2. Accountable. Responsible to somebody or to something.
You are accountable for you. You have to live with yourself and the decisions you make. Investigate don't assume. Don't play the blame game when you didn't look deeper. Often times assuming shows a real lack of effort on your part. You think, "ah come on why wouldn't this person tell me the truth?" SNAP...the trap has been tripped and you've been caught.
The bottom line is no matter who you listen to or choose to follow in your life, it's up to you to find the truth. If you don't the consequences you may experience are all on you. You are accountable for you!
Oh and the youth minister...God called him to prison until 2025.
In my next blog I'll give you a plan on how to keep you're life in balance and moving forward. It's about choices...your choices for the life you're living. Trust me.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
What Others Think of You...
...Is None of Your Business!
If having others believing in you and your dream was a requirement for success, most of us would never accomplish anything. You need to base your decisions about what you want to do on your goals and desire---not the goals, desire, opinions, and judgments of your parents, friends, spouse, children, and coworkers. Quit worrying what other people think about you and follow your heart.
I like Dr. Daniel Amen's 18/40/60 Rule: "When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when your 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all."
Surprise, Surprise! Most of the time, nobody's thinking about you at all! They are too busy worrying about their own lives, and if they are thinking about you at all, they are wondering what you are thinking about them. People think about themselves, not you.
Think about it---all the time you are wasting worrying about what other people think about your ideas, your goals, your clothes, your hair, and your home could all be better spent on thinking about and doing the things that will achieve your goals!
"You have to believe in yourself when no one else does. That's what makes you a winner."
If having others believing in you and your dream was a requirement for success, most of us would never accomplish anything. You need to base your decisions about what you want to do on your goals and desire---not the goals, desire, opinions, and judgments of your parents, friends, spouse, children, and coworkers. Quit worrying what other people think about you and follow your heart.
I like Dr. Daniel Amen's 18/40/60 Rule: "When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when your 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all."
Surprise, Surprise! Most of the time, nobody's thinking about you at all! They are too busy worrying about their own lives, and if they are thinking about you at all, they are wondering what you are thinking about them. People think about themselves, not you.
Think about it---all the time you are wasting worrying about what other people think about your ideas, your goals, your clothes, your hair, and your home could all be better spent on thinking about and doing the things that will achieve your goals!
"You have to believe in yourself when no one else does. That's what makes you a winner."
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Don't Take No For An Answer-
In 1947, Lester Wunderman was arbitrarily fired from his advertising job in New York. But the young man felt he still had a lot to learn from the head of the agency, Max Sackheim. So the next morning Wunderman went back to his office and began working just as he had before. He talked to coworkers and clients; he sat in on meetings - all without pay.
Sackheim ignored him for a month. When the month was over, the temperamental Sackheim walked up to Wunderman. "Okay you win," he said, shaking his head. "I never saw a man who wanted a job more than he wanted the money."
That kind of persistence and an inclination toward action paid off for Wunderman. He went on to be one of the most successful advertising men of the century and is known as the father of direct marketing. He is credited with having invented pre-printed newspaper inserts, bound-in subscription cards for magazines, and subscription clubs such as those used by Time-Life Books and the Columbia Record Club.
Advertising may not be your thing, but action must be. What are you willing to do to achieve your dream? What are you willing to do even if you must do it for free? Success begins at the beginning. And it continues with consistent action.
Sackheim ignored him for a month. When the month was over, the temperamental Sackheim walked up to Wunderman. "Okay you win," he said, shaking his head. "I never saw a man who wanted a job more than he wanted the money."
That kind of persistence and an inclination toward action paid off for Wunderman. He went on to be one of the most successful advertising men of the century and is known as the father of direct marketing. He is credited with having invented pre-printed newspaper inserts, bound-in subscription cards for magazines, and subscription clubs such as those used by Time-Life Books and the Columbia Record Club.
Advertising may not be your thing, but action must be. What are you willing to do to achieve your dream? What are you willing to do even if you must do it for free? Success begins at the beginning. And it continues with consistent action.
Action Steps
1. You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
2. The first two letters in the word goal are G-O.
3. Some people dream of worthy accomplishments while others wake up and do them.
4. Anybody who brags about what he is going to do tomorrow probably did the same thing yesterday.
5. People will never be what they ought to be until they are doing what they ought to be doing.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Think About It...
How many times have you started a conversation with, "How you doin'?" And what's the answer? You know...somewhere in the response will be the word "busy". Have you noticed how 'busy' everyone is these days.
Remember when you were a kid in elementary school and the futuristic predictions of all the wonderful devices we were going to have that would save us time? Uh... OK.
Maybe we need to call a "life's timeout" on a regular basis and spend some quality time with our thoughts. Thoughts that help keep things in the right perspective. So sit back. Take a few moments. Read these thoughts. What does your heart tell you?
-Place your hand over your chest and feel your heartbeat. That is actually your life clock ticking, counting down the moments you have left. One day it will stop. That is 100 percent guaranteed, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. So you can't afford to throw away a single precious second. Go after your dreams with energy and passion, or you may as well stand back and watch them wash down the drain.
-So what's your life's passion? What were you put on this earth to do? The answer to these questions will unlock the great mystery of life; it's as big as they come.
-Why do we try to create our own little worlds so we have the illusion of being completely in control of our existence when we know with absolute certainty that we are not?
- The only theme that resonates throughout the numerous theories of life is love. Love, in all its fragile forms, is the one powerful, enduring force that brings real meaning to our everyday lives.
-If you ask the big questions and listen carefully to your heart, you will eventually hear destiny calling you.
-Keep in mind that whatever you do, mistakes are a part of life. So don't waste time kicking yourself for the past.
-It's an indisputable fact that we are all made of the same substance as the most intelligent, creative, magnificent life-forms in the entire universe. Furthermore, we are composed of the exact atomic matter as the mighty mountains on this planet and the bright stars in the galaxy. Of course, this is also true for potatoes, snails, and meatloaf - perhaps that's why there's so much about life that doesn't make a great deal of sense.
-Why exactly are you here? What is it you truly love? People who don't know ask themselves these questions invariably go through life wondering why it isn't a lot more fun.
Remember when you were a kid in elementary school and the futuristic predictions of all the wonderful devices we were going to have that would save us time? Uh... OK.
Maybe we need to call a "life's timeout" on a regular basis and spend some quality time with our thoughts. Thoughts that help keep things in the right perspective. So sit back. Take a few moments. Read these thoughts. What does your heart tell you?
-Place your hand over your chest and feel your heartbeat. That is actually your life clock ticking, counting down the moments you have left. One day it will stop. That is 100 percent guaranteed, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. So you can't afford to throw away a single precious second. Go after your dreams with energy and passion, or you may as well stand back and watch them wash down the drain.
-So what's your life's passion? What were you put on this earth to do? The answer to these questions will unlock the great mystery of life; it's as big as they come.
-Why do we try to create our own little worlds so we have the illusion of being completely in control of our existence when we know with absolute certainty that we are not?
- The only theme that resonates throughout the numerous theories of life is love. Love, in all its fragile forms, is the one powerful, enduring force that brings real meaning to our everyday lives.
-If you ask the big questions and listen carefully to your heart, you will eventually hear destiny calling you.
-Keep in mind that whatever you do, mistakes are a part of life. So don't waste time kicking yourself for the past.
-It's an indisputable fact that we are all made of the same substance as the most intelligent, creative, magnificent life-forms in the entire universe. Furthermore, we are composed of the exact atomic matter as the mighty mountains on this planet and the bright stars in the galaxy. Of course, this is also true for potatoes, snails, and meatloaf - perhaps that's why there's so much about life that doesn't make a great deal of sense.
-Why exactly are you here? What is it you truly love? People who don't know ask themselves these questions invariably go through life wondering why it isn't a lot more fun.
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